Faith

It truly is an astounding thing and something I wish I had more of. I grew up Catholic and of course was sent to Catholic Education and made all of my sacraments. I was married in the same church I was baptized, made my communion, and confirmation. All of my babies were baptized in the same church, yet I don't feel like I even have religion. I am now sending my children to Catholic Education on Saturdays, but feel like a complete hypocrite. After all, we don't even attend church and rarely speak of the God they are learning about. After all those years of my "education" I can recite a few prayers and only know some stories from the bible thanks to Veggie Tales. I am at the point that I wonder if there is even a God. I know, pretty bad. I don't doubt that there is a greater being, but who is to say that it isn't a giant bunny? I guess what I am lacking is faith. I  have recently read many heartbreaking blogs of mommies who have carried babies to term, only for those babies to pass away shortly after being born. Yet, these women still have an unbroken faith. How is that possible? Why are they not screaming to the heavens? The destruction that is happening all around the world and yet people pray because they believe it will change things. I used to pray and I went to church a lot after losing my mom, but now? Not so much.  I am not sure when I lost my faith. I don't think I awoke one morning and it was gone, instead I believe it was a gradual thing.