Seriously?

I am down to three pairs of shorts that fit and two of those are elastic! Okay, so I'll admit that my other shorts were starting to get a little snug feeling before I got pregnant. LOL! I'm sure that since this is #4 that everything is going to pop out a lot faster. Seeing as that my stomach muscles aren't what they used to be. Heck, who am I kidding? My muscles were never that great. I know it is common in the 1st trimester to pop out a little due to bloating, oh what fun! Here is a picture I took of my baby bump a week or so ago, and no I was not pushing it out. Please keep in mind that my stomach was not washboard flat to begin with. Perhaps this is not a baby bump after all, but just my chubby self. Haha, either way enjoy. Yep, there it is, expect more pictures as I progress. I haven't puked yet, but the nausea really takes me out. My big fear now is that I'm going to throw up in the pick up/drop off line at the kids' school. *Note to self, put a bucket, some bags, water, and breath mints in car in case of hurling.* So I still don't have an official due date, but according to my calculations and an online calculator, I should be due around April 14th. That makes me about 7 weeks. If you look at the widget to the right, the baby is actually starting to look a little more like a baby and not an alien. Here is some information I found out about a 7 week Embryo:

The baby's heart is now beating regularly at 150 beats per minute.
The arm buds have grown and now the hands are beginning to develop.
The whole baby is still only 1/3 of an inch long, about the size of a grain of rice, but the brain, intestines, pituitary gland and pancreas are growing.
Though the genital tubercle is present, you can't tell by looking whether it is a girl or a boy, yet.
The baby's face is developing rapidly, the nasal pits have formed, the ears are developing and there are developing lenses on the eyes.

Woohoo! We have nasal pits and arm buds! Seriously though, I find it absolutely amazing that something the size of a grain of rice has a beating heart.

Yummy.

It's amazing how your sense of taste and smell increases with pregnancy. Anytime I drive past a BBQ restaurant my mouth waters. I attribute that to this fantastic pulled pork sandwich I had the day before I found out I was pregnant. I went shopping with a couple of friends and we got lunch at a restaurant called the Red Star Tavern. I seriously have thought about that sandwich almost everyday since. It is a good thing it isn't close to my house or I would be eating one everyday. LOL! I also seem to enjoy the taste of ketchup more than I ever have, I drench my fries in it. Oh and onion rings! I had some yesterday and you would have thought I was eating the finest chocolate in the world, they were so good! Okay, so my food talk is done with.

I have been getting more nauseous as the days go by, some days I just have to lay on the couch and hope it goes away. It is supposedly a good sign because it means the placenta is working and hormone levels are up.

Holy cow!

I completely forgot how truly exhausting it is to grow another human being! I wish I could sleep all day long. I have no energy and of course am getting annoyed with myself because I'm not getting much done around the house. I wish I could nap when my youngest takes a nap and my older two rest, but it is generally right after lunch and my blood sugar is up, so that is out. 

On the upside, as long as I eat something small every few hours, I don't get that nauseous. Woohoo! 

So the shock has worn off, now the worry sets in...

This pregnancy is no different from the others in the beginning. The fear of a miscarriage is in my almost every thought. I have never had one, but that does nothing to reassure me. I had three relatively healthy pregnancies, (with the exception of preterm labor the last one.) and I feel like I'm tempting fate this time around. Every little pain or cramp I'm positive that something bad is happening. sigh I know it isn't in my hands, but it doesn't make it any less scary. I won't stop obsessing over it until I hear the heartbeat, that gentle whooshing sound that is possibly one if the sweetest sounds in the world.

So I made a decision about school, I dropped one of my two classes. I was just worried that it would be too much stress to take two. It was going to be stressful to begin with, but throwing the pregnancy into mix changed things. My last two pregnancies resulted in me being sick all day long. If that happens this time around, I don't know how I would be able to handle two classes of homework, plus the kids, house, Girl Scouts and taking care of me. The last of course being extremely important. So, I'm taking Composition 101 which is basically a prerequisite for everything. I'm not giving up on college all together, my plans have just been delayed.

So I went to my regular doctor yesterday about a problem I had before I found out I was pregnant. I asked him if I should get another pregnancy test since the HPT said it was positive. He said no that once it is positive, there is no doubt. That is kind of what I figured. It reminds me of the movie Juno when the store clerk tells her after she's taken numerous tests that the test wasn't an Etch a Sketch and that "that's one doodle that can't be undiddled". I've come to terms with this pregnancy and am a little excited. I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl. My daughter will be so disappointed if she gets another brother because as she says "boys are stinky." Either way I just want a healthy baby and pregnancy. 

Out of the mouths of babes...

Today I was watching Father of the Bride II and my 6yr old came and sat down next to me. She was just in time for the part of the movie where the babies are born. She said "Aww", but was a little disappointed that the first baby was a boy. I told her that people didn't get to pick what kind of baby they have. She said "I know, that is okay and I just really want you to get a baby in your belly again".  I said, "Well don't you think we already have enough kids?" and she said "No, I think we should have more." We have not told the kids and won't until I'm further along. Maybe she has he own intuition and already knows.  Either way, it made me feel good. 

When to tell?

That is the question. Besides my husband, only one other person knows about this baby. Why aren't I telling people you may ask? Honestly, I'm a coward.  I don't want to hear the disappointment or disapproval in peoples' voices or see it in their faces. People can make some really mean comments about having another baby especially if you already have two or more. I know I shouldn't care, but when comments come from family and close friends, how can you not care?  Maybe this time I'll get a better reaction, but I doubt it. I'm not saying that everyone will have a smart ass remark, but enough will and that is why I hesitate. There has been so many times that I wanted to tell someone and changed my mind.  *sigh* Once I see the doctor and have an actual due date I'll start telling people, but until them mum is the word. 

Oh an in case you are wondering, my toe is much better. :)

Talk about a weird turn of events...

Yesterday afternoon I was trying to break up a fight between my older two and somehow injured my big toe. I thought that I had just stubbed it, but after an hour and a half of it still hurting and starting to look funny, off to the immediate care I went. Of course my husband had gone to work right before I hurt it so I had to get my father in law to take me. Oh, did I forget to mention that it is on my driving foot? So I get checked in and wait to get triaged where I completely forget to tell the nurse who was triaging(is that even a word?) that I'm pregnant. See my brain is still not comprehending this important info. So she sends me to X-ray. Do you think they offered to get me a wheelchair? No, so I walk or I should say hobble/limp to x-ray where the tech asks me the last date of my period I tell her and then say I think I'm pregnant. THINK? Jeez, I know I am because the test said so! So she calls someone who says I can't get the x-ray because of the pregnancy. So I limp back to the waiting room to wait for the doctor. After about 1/2 hour, I finally get into to see the doctor who says I need an x-ray. I explained that they told me no. She said that is ridiculous because it is my toe and they can just shield me. Whatever. She at least has them come get me in a wheelchair. So I get the x-ray, go back to the room to wait some more. The doctor said no breaks or dislocations, just a sprain. So I was told to ice it, take Tylenol and elevate. I asked if I should wrap it and she said no. So I hobble home feeling like I complete wasted my time and my insurance's money.

Fast forward to last night. I am in so much pain I can't sleep or even lay still. I might as had been taking a vitamin instead of the Tylenol. Finally around midnight I started researching Tylenol Pm on the Internet and found that it is considered safe. So out of sheer desperation for some sort of sleep, I took one. Ahhh, sleep at last.

I awoke this morning in as much pain as I was last night. I called the immediate care again and they said the radiologist re-checked the x-ray and found I had a soft tissue damage and swelling by the joint. I can't take anything stronger than regular Tylenol because I am so early in the pregnancy. Can we say OUCH?

Just now at 5pm he pain is somewhat tolerable. I'm curious how the rest of the week will go...

Here is a picture of the oh so attractive shoe I had to wear.

Still in shock....

I'm really annoyed right now because I just had this whole freaking thing typed out and it took too long to load, so it erased everything and NOTHING got saved. UGH!

So, on to my story, again. I told my husband yesterday through many tears and apologies. He said not to be upset and there was nothing to be sorry for. I don't know why I doubted his reaction to the news. He has never made me think that he would react negatively about the news of a baby. I think he is in shock because neither one has spoken about it since.

I don't know when we'll tell our families, would right before the birth be too long? sigh

I spent most of yesterday trying to find an OB. What a frustrating ordeal that was! I am grateful that we have insurance, but I wish the doctors weren't such crappy pickings. Most of the places were in horrible neighborhoods, weren't taking new patients or couldn't get me in until October. I finally found someone in a decent neighborhood, but can't get in until Septemebr 11th. I wish I could go back to my old OB, she is awesome. Unfortunately she doesn't take the insurance we have. We could get insurance through my husband's work that she takes, but it would be like paying a second mortgage every month and we just can't swing that. So, I guess I will just put on my big girl panties or in this case maternity undies (lmao) and suck it up because in the end all that matters in that me and this baby stay healthy.

August 12, 2008

It is truly amazing how your life can change in an instant. I took a HPT today at 6:30am and before a minute was up the little + sign appeared. Wow. I am going to be a mother of four, yes I said 4 children in nine months. I just took the test on a fluke because my last period was super short and light and I haven't been feeling up to par. How do I tell my husband? He will be so upset. A fourth was not in our plans, at least not for a few years. I'm supposed to start college this fall. Can I do that now? How do I tell the rest of our family? I don't know what to do. I know this baby is a blessing, but man it really took me by surprise. I thought for sure the test would be negative. Maybe I'll go buy another test before I say anything. I'm in shock right now and kind of moving through a haze.

An instant that is all it takes for your life to change forever....