8/22/2008

So the shock has worn off, now the worry sets in...

This pregnancy is no different from the others in the beginning. The fear of a miscarriage is in my almost every thought. I have never had one, but that does nothing to reassure me. I had three relatively healthy pregnancies, (with the exception of preterm labor the last one.) and I feel like I'm tempting fate this time around. Every little pain or cramp I'm positive that something bad is happening. sigh I know it isn't in my hands, but it doesn't make it any less scary. I won't stop obsessing over it until I hear the heartbeat, that gentle whooshing sound that is possibly one if the sweetest sounds in the world.

So I made a decision about school, I dropped one of my two classes. I was just worried that it would be too much stress to take two. It was going to be stressful to begin with, but throwing the pregnancy into mix changed things. My last two pregnancies resulted in me being sick all day long. If that happens this time around, I don't know how I would be able to handle two classes of homework, plus the kids, house, Girl Scouts and taking care of me. The last of course being extremely important. So, I'm taking Composition 101 which is basically a prerequisite for everything. I'm not giving up on college all together, my plans have just been delayed.

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