So here it is..

I went into my neurologist on Friday to make sure my lesion was good and hadn't grown any family members. ;~) What I learned there really scared the shit out of me. Seriously, I saw my life pass before my eyes. I have been diagnosed with Arnold-Chiari Malformation. More information about it here.  http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/chiari.htm  Thank God for my friend Amanda who had mentioned it to me a few weeks back so I had already done some research on it. I have Type 1 and was told it was mild. My doctor was kind of nonchalant as he explained it to me. He said it was mild and wanted me to see a Neurosurgeon, but did not think I needed surgery. After all, it is not minor surgery they take (and here was when he used his hand for demonstration) a small part of the back of your skull off. You can imagine right there that my mind went completely blank and void of rational thought. I was able to maintain composure even chatting with a friend who works there, until I got in my car. I think I gave Andrew who was at work a heart attack when I told him in a blubbering way that my brain was slipping into my spinal column and I might need surgery to fix it.

Now can you see why I was terrified? All I kept thinking about were my kids. I have 4 kids who depend on me, there is no way I can have surgery. I mean, what if I die? Isn't it enough they have to deal with a mom who has constant headaches and losing their Grandmother not even 2 years ago? Now they are going to lose their mom. What about Andrew? How is he going to handle it?

So I had a pity fest for a bit, then got over it. I am still scared, but I not going to let this define who I am. It is just another thing that makes me, well me. I am grateful to finally have a diagnosis. Now I have an actual legitimate reason for these damn daily headaches and migraines. After doing research, I have discovered I have a lot of the other symptoms that I had never mentioned to a doctor because I just shrugged them off as no big deal.

As for surgery, I will leave that up to the surgeon. I see him in March and hopeful he can give me some more insight. Right now I am against it, but if it means surgery or paralysis, you can bet I will pick surgery. I will keep you updated. Thank you to those who have stuck by me. :) Oh and another thing, I have decided not to tell my dad about this until I have more information on it. He does not need to add this to the list of things to worry about.