I guess my issues stem from childhood, after all, don't they all? I was the only girl in our family and my father was old fashioned. Meaning, that I needed to learn to cook and clean, while my brothers still had chores, a lot of it was put on me. However if you ask them I was a spoiled brat. LOL My father use to tell me that he could never invite his friends over because our house was not clean enough and that of course was my fault. My mom had to work so I had to do a lot of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. By the time I was a freshman in high school I could make a mean pot roast. I know that the way I was raised has made me into the woman I am today, both good and bad. I just wish that I can accept things to be good enough, both myself and my home.
Just a place for my various ramblings. This started off as a blog when I shockingly discovered I was pregnant with my fourth child. It then moved onto be an outlet as I lost both of my parents.
9/14/2010
Good Enough
That would be my counselor's favorite term. She has asked, "When is it going to be good enough for you?" That is a damn fine question. As I prepare to host Bunco at my house this evening, I am trying to make the house good enough. Meaning that they are not going to know that my front closet is bursting at the seam and the only thing stopping the mountain of shit coats from falling out is the hook and eye latch on the outside of it. However, I start to feel panicky and think I need to rip everything out of there and organize. I know though if I do that, it will make an even bigger mess and I will just feel even more overwhelmed. So, I am desperately trying to have things good enough including myself. I recently had my oldest brother and his family over for dinner which was the first time in about, oh four years at the least. We had a great time and I plan on getting to together with my family more often. My house was far from perfect or even spotless, but it was good enough for me. You know what, they didn't care about some clutter or a few toys laying around. Allison even got to have a friend over to play because the house was good enough, that was the first time for her. Which is sad considering she is 8. Thankfully she has great friends with wonderful parents who understand that I have a hard time having kids over here.
I guess my issues stem from childhood, after all, don't they all? I was the only girl in our family and my father was old fashioned. Meaning, that I needed to learn to cook and clean, while my brothers still had chores, a lot of it was put on me. However if you ask them I was a spoiled brat. LOL My father use to tell me that he could never invite his friends over because our house was not clean enough and that of course was my fault. My mom had to work so I had to do a lot of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. By the time I was a freshman in high school I could make a mean pot roast. I know that the way I was raised has made me into the woman I am today, both good and bad. I just wish that I can accept things to be good enough, both myself and my home.
I guess my issues stem from childhood, after all, don't they all? I was the only girl in our family and my father was old fashioned. Meaning, that I needed to learn to cook and clean, while my brothers still had chores, a lot of it was put on me. However if you ask them I was a spoiled brat. LOL My father use to tell me that he could never invite his friends over because our house was not clean enough and that of course was my fault. My mom had to work so I had to do a lot of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. By the time I was a freshman in high school I could make a mean pot roast. I know that the way I was raised has made me into the woman I am today, both good and bad. I just wish that I can accept things to be good enough, both myself and my home.
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