Ahh Life.

It definitely has its ups and downs.  However living with a child who has ADHD & ODD it tends to have more downs than ups.  With these children, they are not "bad" kids and they do not have bad or lazy parents. It is not a discipline problem. We can not give them an attitude "adjustment" aka spanking and fix them. It is an imbalance of sorts, something they can not help. Knowing that does not make one's life any easier. Our mornings start off decent enough, but then he starts. Nicholas's favorite thing to do is to terrorize his siblings to the point that they run screaming because they are scared he will hurt them. Now, we have a very simple morning routine. They kids eat breakfast, brush their teeth, get dressed (clothes are picked out the night before) and if there is time after everyone is ready they get to watch some morning cartoons before heading off to school. Simple right? Nope.  Nick is up at least 15-20 minutes before everyone else and he is still the last one to get ready. He prefers instead to fight and aggravate everyone in the house. I would just love to have a morning where I do not have to threaten him with grounding after school.  That doesn't even seem to work anymore. His favorite phrase, well besides I HATE YOU!! is Who cares? UGH! Believe me, I feel that way more times than not.  I sometimes feel so hopeless. What did I do to deserve such a child?   My older brother was hyperactive as a child and it is times like this that I wish I had my mom to talk to about how she handled him.  Maybe he is this way because of me. Perhaps I drank too much coffee during pregnancy, or maybe it was because he was not breastfed.  Nick and Allison are only 18 months apart, maybe my body didn't have enough time to recooperate before I became pregnant again. I guess I could live my life with the whys, the problem is trying to figure out where to go from here. Life is a constantly never ending high stress, and I wonder why I suffer from migraines.  I have read books and researched in internet. I just need to know, will it ever get better or will it get worse as he becomes older and stronger. Will he start to become physical with me? What do you do then?  Yesterday he threw a toy at the couch, well I happened to be sitting in front of the couch on the floor so it hit me right on the top of the head instead. Even though I knew it was an accident. it didn't feel like it.  He apologized, but I think secretly he was aiming at me, otherwise why throw it in the first place? Well, I guess I will go back to my laundry and Lauren has a dirty diaper. Until next time...