3 years ago yesterday

I started my blog and what a journey it has been! This blog have seen me through a very surprising fourth pregnancy, the loss of my mom and now the genetic disorder that I have. Wow! If you would have asked me that day so long ago if this would be my life, I would have thought you were crazy. Just goes to show you that you can't predict your life. I never would have thought that my mom would be gone. She was such a force in my life that to even imagine her out of it was unfathomable. Now though, she has been gone 2 years, 4 months, and 18 days. Then again who is counting? Some days it seems like yesterday when I told her my last goodbye and then some days it feel like years and years have passed. The fact is though that she is never more that a thought away. I think of her everyday if not numerous times a day. When I see a butterfly for example, she is first and foremost in my mind. She loved butterflies and I always think of them as her way of saying hi. I just pray that she is proud of the person I am. Even though I know I will never be as great of a person that she was, I hope that I'm a fraction of what she was. 


Lauren, my fourth baby and the best surprise of my life has been quite literally a God send. She was the reason in those dark hours after mom was gone that I continued to get up and live. After all, how could I leave a helpless infant to fend for herself? 


My brain, ugh that thing. What a complication it has become. Haha While I am happy for a diagnosis, it doesn't make it any easier. The diagnosis didn't take anyway the pain or the fatigue that I am prone to suffer. It just is what it is. While I am trying my best everyday not to let it define me, some days are a lot harder than others. 


So here I am, three years later with a couple more followers (thanks) and still babbling about my life. Sure it isn't always interesting, but it is my life and I wouldn't change it for the world. maybe just a lifetime supply of chocolate