Happy Anniversary to me.

well I guess and my hubby. :o) It has been 8 years, the time has really flown by. Obviously by our brood we have been busy. ;o) My husband is a great guy and I'm not just biased. He tries to do anything that will make me happy. When I am down in the dumps, he tries to make it better. I don't know what I would have done without him these last six months. He truly is my rock. I wish that everyone could know love like I do. I'm sure I don't tell him enough how much I love him and how awesome he is, but do we ever tell those that mean the most that? 

Lauren's baptism went well. She was the only baby that cried. I probably could have stopped her by whipping out one of the girls, but I was uncomfortable with showing God and the rest of the church my goods.  LOL I had it together until we were on the way to the church, then I started thinking about my mom. I thought I was doing good, I had tears rolling down my face as we walked into church, but I thought I could compose myself. HA! That was until I saw my oldest brother, then the flood gates could not keep shut anymore. I cried while he held me and told me it was okay. I know she was there with us, it was just hard. After I got it out of my system, everything went well. The service was nice and we went back to my parents for a small impromptu party. 

Wow, June 20th already?

This year is passing on by fast. Little Miss is almost 11 weeks old! Tomorrow is her baptism. She will be baptised in the same church I was baptised and in the same gown. It is the church I made all of my sacraments, where I got married, where my other children were baptised and where we had my mom's funeral service. The last occasion was not a happy one, so I want, no I need to have a happy memory there again. I know my mom will be there with us, watching over us. The days are getting better. I still have pretty rough ones, but the images of her sick in the hospital and ultimately dying, are fading and being replaced by memories of Christmas, birthdays, and camping. I remember her teaching me how to make kolacki in the kitchen. I remember going to midnight mass at church with her and her having to wake me up at the end of service because I fell asleep. I hold onto these memories like cherished stones and I pull one out and hold onto it whenever I need to.

We will be bringing Thing 2 back on July 14th for testing to see what his diagnosis is. I do know that we are probably looking at a diagnosis of O.D.D and who knows what else. You can go here to find out some more information about it. http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_with_oppositional_defiant_disorder

The description of this fits him to a "T" he has every symptom. I love hm to death, but some days it is very hard. I know God gave him to us for a reason, perhaps he thinks we could handle it or maybe he just thinks it is funny. What ever the reason, we will keep pushing forward and helping him as much as possible while trying not to go crazy ourselves.

2 months, 1 week and 1 day

since I lost an important piece of me. I forget sometimes and pick up the phone to call and talk, yet you aren't there any more to answer. You are on my mind constantly. My thoughts keep racing from the last conversation we had, to the last time I saw your smile, to the last time I hugged you. Did I let you know enough how much I loved you and how much you meant to me? Was I a good enough daughter, did I make you proud? I miss you so much sometimes that I physically hurt. It is not fair, I still need you. I know it wasn't your decision to go, you were needed elsewhere, but couldn't that have waited just a little longer? I am not angry that you are gone, just confused why it had to be so soon. Surely I could have had a little more time. Why couldn't you have held my baby in your arms and told me how beautiful she is? I need my mom to talk to about my little boy, no one else will do. Am I doing the right thing? Will it get better? I need to hear you say "This too shall pass." I just need you.