I survived!

Now, you may be thinking what in the heck are you talking about?!  I am talking about our family's two week long car trip/vacation. We drove for  2 days to DisneyWorld, yes I did say drove with four kids 8 & under. All I have to say is I bless the person who invented drop down dvd players and wireless headphones. LOL My parents in law (is that even a term?) went as did a brother and sister in law.  We stayed in the Mouse's territory for 7 days, but one day we left the entire area (I know I just heard you gasp) to go to an outlet mall. My husband just felt the need to get out of the Mouse's clutches. LOL However, guess what store we went to? A Disney one, we found a store that the park  sends all of their closeout items to for a super discounted rates. We were able to pick up a few cheap souvenirs. We stayed at the Wilderness Lodge and it was so nice! After visiting with the Mouse, we headed about and hour and a half away to visit my brother and his family for three days. We had a great visit and I wish we lived closer. After our visit with them, it was on our way home, but first we stopped in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, in the heart of the Smoky Mountains. It was an absolutely beautiful area. We didn't do a lot of walking because, by then we were all worn out and hiking up a mountain with four worn out kids in 90* weather is not my idea of a good time. We planning on going back when the kids are older. Three days later we were finally on our way home. We had a wonderful trip, but like Dorothy put it so eloquently, There is no place like home! Yes, I missed my bed, shower, tv, couch, but what I missed most was my animals. I know what a dork, but any animal lovers out there will understand. So we are now back to normal life, well as normal as life can be. Hopefully I can get on here more often, that is in between life.

Cinderella's Castle at night.

Sunset on the Gulf. 

Smoky Mountains

Can I vent for a minute here?

I am so sick and tired of bitchy, rude receptionists and secretaries! As a former office manager, I know how much work and pressure they have, however, that does not give you a right to be a bitch. For example, the secretaries at my son's school are so nasty that I have more than once thought about talking to the principal about them. Not only are they rude and give you a complete attitude, they are not friendly at all towards the kids. Now, I'm thinking that if you apply for a job in a school, that you should at least like kids. Gosh! My other gripe is this nasty witch I just encountered when I called the foot doctor for a follow up appointment. (I have a wart colony living on my big toe.) The woman on the other line was just as bitchy and unfriendly this time as she was when I first went into the doctor. When she answered I explain that I would like to make a follow up appointment, to which she rudely barked hold on with a big sigh and slammed the phone down. (I think my ear drum is still throbbing from that.) She then came on, holy cow was she nasty. She informed me in a very unpleasant manner, before even acknowledging who I was that they no longer take public aid and since it has been three years since they last saw me that they weren't going to have me as a patient. When she finished her bitchy tirade, I informed her I was just there a few months ago and that she must have the wrong person. Did she apologize for her bitchiness? Of course not, she just rudely told me that I can come in two weeks in the morning and didn't even let me get an opinion on the matter. Let's she if she is just as nasty in person as she is on the phone.

Blog under construction.

Please bare with me as I change things around. I was getting bored with the old layout. I have also had a bit of a writer's block, so perhaps a change will unblock it for me.  Life has been, well hectic, but what can you expect with four kids under 8, a dog and two cats. Yes, I said two cats. We had a new addition to our family. Her name is Bella (Yes I am one of those Twilight moms. LOL) She's pretty darn cute if I say so myself and she has blended beautifully with the other animals in our house. (The kids included.) She even indulges the dog and plays with her from time to time.

 Mother's day has come and gone and so has Father's Day for that matter.  I got the standard school gifts from the kids and a radio from my other half. Notice I didn't say better half. ;~)  Summer is upon us! The kids have been out of school for 3 weeks now and it seems as if we are forever going. The kids just wrapped up soccer and softball. I was very proud that my daughter made the All Stars game in softball and this was her first year of playing! She will definitely be joining softball again next year. My older son loved soccer and will be joining next year again too. Things have been good with him. We are still trying to find the right dose and combinations of medications. The progress that he made in school in just the 3 1/2months that he had been on it was truly amazing. He went from being below average, not even on the charts in the beginning of January to being just under above average at the end of May! If I had any doubts of medicating him, they have long gone. Of course the medicine is not a cure all. We are still having behavior problems, but nothing like it was.

We will be taking a long vacation this year. Let's just say I can use all the prayers you have. LOL Being in a car with 4 kids for over 24 hours is what I will be faced with soon enough. I have to admit, I am not really looking forward to the trip. Long car rides always raise my anxiety level. I will just make sure I bring some good books to keep me occupied. We have a plan of action for the kids. We have a pull down dvd player and two portable dvd players for the kids, just in case they don't want to watch the same things. We have also purchased new movies, little toys and hid them for the trip. They all have a small basket of toys that they will brings along with coloring supplies and MP3 players. Oh, did I mention my in-laws will be traveling with us, but in their van so we can always toss a couple of kids in with them. The biggest one I am worried about it the baby. Since she started walking, she does not like to be held down for too long, I can't really blame her. I still have her rear facing since studies have found that it is safer and also because she is a peanut. She is just on the 25th percentile for her size. I recall a similar trip when my oldest was about the same age and she cried, no I mean screamed for the last 2 1/2 hours of the trip! Oh, that reminds me, I need to get some ear plugs. *giggle*

I've been thinking lately about friendships

and how what you want out of a friendship changes over the years. I remember being my daughter's age (8) and wanting a best friend. I see when she gets hurt by someone who she considers a friend and it takes a lot not to go tell off the little one who hurt her feelings. I encourage to tell her friend that her feelings were hurt by whatever little drama and that she has to stand up for herself. I also refuse to get into the middle of her fights with friends unless it is something serious because chances are by the next week they will be best friends again. I am friends with a couple of her friends' moms and I don't want our kids tiffs get in the way of our friendship. That was something my mom always told me and she was one smart woman.  As a teenager I had a close group of friends in high school and only talk to one or two regularly now.  It is amazing that the people who you thought you would always talk to you rarely see or talk to anymore the ones who thought you had not much in common with turns out to be someone who you talk to more than ever. As an adult I have quite a few friends and a few acquaintances. My friends are great, it doesn't matter if I've known them since childhood, recently met, or even if they live in my computer, they have all been there for me this past year. Whether it was a card, a call, or an email they were there. Even if we don't talk everyday, I know I can turn to them for their support if needed and I guess as an adult that is all I want out of friendship. I have someone who I thought was a friend, but as the years go by I realize that we are not friends. I am merely someone that she calls when she needs something or if her other great friends are too busy with their own lives. That just sucks. I really like this person, but I hate feeling like I'm being used and that I'm at the bottom of the barrel. So why can't I take the advice I give my daughter and tell this person how they treat me sucks and to never call me again? Part is probably because there is always a glimmer of hope that this person will one day call me just to see how I am instead asking for a favor to do for her.  So I just want to say thank you to my real friends.  Thank you for mourning the loss of my mom with me and celebrating the joy of my baby girl. Although I may not say it, you rock and I wouldn't exchange you for anything. Well, maybe a big hunk of chocolate.....

Sisters together again.

Today I lost another part of my family. My Aunt Gert shown on the right in both photos, passed away at 2am. She was my mom's last surviving sibling. Not only was she my Aunt, she was also my Godmother, a job she took seriously. When my mother passed, it really broke her heart and probably more than anyone will ever know.

I'm a freak of nature

or at least that is what I felt like last night. I went to a mom's night out spa night with a group I joined a while back, but never had the chance to go to any of the meet ups. Life just gets in the way like that. So I had my massage and went out to wait for my eyebrows to be done. The massage was nice, but too short at just 1/2 hour. I had a hard time relaxing because I just kept thinking about how gross my body is. *sigh*  I finally met some of the moms in the group. They were made up of mostly beautiful, skinny put together moms. You know the type, the ones who have full hair and make-up done even though it is 7am and they are just going to go home to scrub the bathroom.  Man, did I feel frumpy! There was one mom I was able to  sort of connect too. Why you ask? Well because she was wearing a faded sweatshirt and jogging pants. She also had that I'm exhausted look on her face. Yippee! So I inched my way over and began to talk. I was very nervous, I always am when it comes to meeting new people. So I found out she had a four year old boy and just adopted a baby girl in the beginning of this month. Now comes that loaded question, "How many kids do you have?" Geez, I knew it was coming, there was no avoiding it. So,  of course I said four (one of these days I'm going to say ten.) and then the reactions started "Oh My God!" "I thought we were crazy with 3!" "You must be so busy." Then they asked what the ages were and I was greeted by more astonishment. Crap, you would have thought I just told these women I turned in to a werewolf at the full moon. Of course, I just smiled and explained we were done with 3, but then came a little surprise (and in my opinion the best kind of surprise). Why do I feel the need to justify the amount of children I have? It really is nobody's business but mine. Then mom in the sweatpants asked what my husband did when I replied teacher, she said "Wow, then you guys must really scraping by!" Seriously, what the Hell? Her reaction just kind of stunned me. I replied "Yep because after all no one with real important jobs get the money they deserve." I did not ask what her husband did. I just wanted to leave, but had to wait for my brow wax. It was uncomfortable, all these women obviously knew each other and I was just an outsider. Oh sure, they tried to include me in their conversations but it was forced.  Finally, came my turn to get waxed. The waxer,  is that the correct term? Was going on and on about how the eyebrows define the face and that I should get mine done frequently. Honestly, I get mine done about once a year. I could care less what they look like. Heck, I don't even wear make up. Yes, I know it is a shocker!    She asked when the last time I had a facial was and I told her never. I explained I had kids and didn't treat myself to things like that. She also tried to talk me into tattooing eyebrows on. Seriously, what the hell was this? So, she took hot wax, put it on my face and ripped it off quickly with some sort of paper and I paid her to do this! Why do women do these things? After that I got to leave. On the way home I was thinking of what had transpired and was mad at myself for feeling the need to justify how many kids I have. Then I could hear my mom telling me to never feel bad for having a baby because they are miracles and have a purpose.  So from now on, when asked how many kids I have, I will reply 4 beautiful ones and not justify it by saying Lauren was a surprise.

She's crawling!

Yes, I am actually excited that my baby is mobile. To be honest I was getting a little worried, although I played it off by saying that we don't encourage independent movement. LOL She has been able to get around by scooting on her butt, so she wasn't completely immobile. She'll be 11 months in just under two weeks.  Man has the time flown by! I remember that high school seemed to drag on, but ever since life seems as if it is on fast forward. I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that I am slightly busy.

I am amazed that I have been able to survive this past year.  It just goes to show that Lauren definitely had a reason to be here. I don't think I would have been able to handle my mom's passing without her (of course the rest of my family too.) .

Unfortunately my children recently had to deal with another death. Our cat Cassie passed away four weeks ago. She was a beautiful cat, yet a very mean one.  I was there for her when she passed and I petted her and told her I loved her. I must admit that it took them three weeks to realize she was gone. I took her to the vet one day and came home without her. I'm not sure what to think of that. My oldest was upset because she received Cassie as a Christmas gift one year, but to be honest, the cat only really liked me.

My oldest son has been finally been diagnosed with ADHD. Talk about a sigh of relief to finally have answers. The new doctor we are going to is great. We decided to medicate him for now. It is affecting his performance in school so we felt it was the right decision. After all who am I to say no medication when I myself has to take a pill everyday for depression and anxiety?  I have looked into changing his diet, but unfortunately he is a very very picky eater and more than likely I would end up taking what little foods that he does eat away. His medication does not make him into a zombie. He is just a more low key version of himself. The medication is definitely not a cure all. He still has issues, but we are trying to work through them.  I keep trying to remind myself of one of my mom's favorite sayings, "God only give you what you can handle." Some days though, I think he has a lot more confidence in me than I do. LOL

It has been a while.

So in the few weeks that I have been MIA, I have turned 30, celebrated my first Christmas without my mom, welcomed in the New Year and is finally (I think) one step closer to finding out what is wrong with my son.

So the day I turned 30 was fine. I went out to lunch with my husband and got some good gifts. The only down side of the day (besides my mom not being here) was that my dad forgot my birthday. Yep, that is right. I said it didn't bother me, but of course it did. He did call the next day and apologize. He felt terrible and I understood. It was just a rough week all around. Since my birthday is the first offiical day of winter, I always told my mom that I wanted snow on my birthday. What do you know, I was outside with the dog and within minutes, flurries of snow started to drift down. I then heard my mom say "Happy Birthday baby." It was her, not my imagination. It was a wonderful Birthday gift from beyond.

Christmas was great! My daughter sang in the children's choir at church on Christmas Eve. My mom would have loved to see that. Yet some how, I felt her standing there with me singing Silent night. I know she was there. The kids of course got way too many things, but they had a great time. I also got some great things including a Cricut machine. It is basically a paper cutting machine that you buy cartridges for and with those you can cut out different things.  People who scrapbook primarily use it, but anyone can get one.

Speaking of scrapbooking. We were right? LOL I am almost done with my first scrapbook. I always said I would never scrapbook, but changed my mind. So I started a book with the help and encouragement of  my neighbor. I just have a few more pages and it will be complete. I am scrapbooking a family vacation we took in July of 2008. Hey, better late than never right? After that, I will scrap my daughter's journey in Daisy Girl Scouts, then one of my mom.

I realize that I never posted about the secret project I had mentioned a while back. What I did was take my mom's flannel Christmas pjs and made small quilts for my three older brothers. She loved Christmas and flannel pjs, so I figured I would combine the two to make them a special gift.

The three piles of material.

Quilt #1

Quilt #2

Quilt #3

7 days left

Actually more like 6 days, 10 hours, and 44 minutes left of my 20s. That is right folks, next Monday I will be 30! :~0 When the Hell did that happen? I swear just yesterday I was sitting in English Honors with Mrs. Giordano at Reavis and now I'm an almost 30 year old! I don't have any special plans for the day. I think I may dress in all black for the day to mourn my twenties. Seriously though, I am not freaking out that I'm going to be thirty, it is just a number anyway. I don't feel like I am almost thirty or maybe I do. Hmm, how exactly does one know when you are feeling your age? I have a few gray hairs, chronic headaches and an occasional back ache, but I think that can do more with having four kids under 8 then the big 3-0.  What does 40 feel like or even 80? After all I sometimes feel like I could be forty, but there are days when I feel like I could still be 19 and that I'm just babysitting these kids until their real parents come home. So, I'm wondering how old do YOU feel?

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas..

however I still am not in that festive of a spirit yet. Yesterday morning I was awoken early by my little fur monster, baby, when I took her out, it was snowing! It made me happy to see it for about 2 seconds, then the thoughts of how much a pain it will be to get 4 kids bundled everyday hit me. But hey, for those 2 seconds it was nice. LOL Seriously though, I do like the snow. I love how it makes things so peaceful and not matter how cold it is outside, it never seems that bad if it is snowing. The kids were disappointed that it was all gone by the time they got home from school. Today is a new day and it is snowing again, so maybe today they can run around in it. Lucy loves the snow too.

I have my anxiety attacks somewhat under control. I had my daily medication upped and that seems to have helped. I have still had a few attacks, but not as frequent as before. Thanks everyone who showed me support.  

We put our tree up, or I should say my husband put up the tree and lights and the kids decorated it.  We put some of the more precious ornaments on top. 

I belong to a message board with a wonderful bunch of women. Every year we have an ornament exchange. This year my buddy gave me two very special ornaments. One had our names and the date under snowmen (which I love) and the other one was in memory of my mom. <3

Here is the one for my mom.