Wow, has it really been six months?

It is amazing how life catches you in its rip current and continues to pull you away from the shore. At least that is how it feels some days. So I have been busy these last six months, that is busier than any other mom. I am still taking care of my awesome niece and volunteering with my kids' school as often as I can. All four of my kids are in school full time and I am not ashamed to admit that I had a hard time that first day back. Thankfully my friends were nice enough to keep me busy. I swear just the other day I was taking my oldest to her first day of Kindergarten with both of us in tears and now she is in seventh grade. I remember in high school wishing time would speed up and now I would love for it to slow down just a little bit

 I lost my last Aunt this past month. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in March and we were told it would be weeks. However in true fashion to her, she went when she was damn well and ready and not a minute more. My Aunt Sis was a great, although stern at times woman. I had a few Aunts but she was the one I connected with the most. I got my gift of craftiness from her and the gift of baking. I also had her to thank for my boobs too. She was a great source of comfort after my mom and then father passed. I made sure to tell her every time I saw her that I loved her. If I learned anything from losing my parents it is to make sure to tell your loved ones you love them and do it often. The last time I saw her was a week before she passed. She had slept most of the time at that point, but woke up for a little but while I was there. She asked about the kids and we chatted a little bit. When I was leaving she told me she loved me and to drive safely.

I started school last month and sometimes think I am crazy. While I am enjoying it, I am always second guessing myself on things. I guess years and years of self doubt will do that to you. I am pursuing my certificate in Paraprofessional education. So in the end I will be a teacher's aid. i have always wanted to be a teacher but at my age I just think I am too old to go to school for that. I know I am not old, but for me I am. I just want to be able to work in the schools with kids without the added strew of lesson plans, parent teacher conferences, and the politics. My third is already freaking out about me going to work. I assured him it will be a few years before I get a job because I want to be able to go on field trips and help at class parties for my youngest like I did with the rest of my kids. I never thought of myself as old until I sat in a class with a bunch of nineteen year old giggling girls that my teacher has to constantly shush. The spent a good part of one of the classes talking all about the One Direction concert they went to. Really? My twelve year old doesn't even like them.