you can't help but wish it would slow down. He was told yesterday three months, maybe up to six. I've known this for a while in my heart and after speaking with the doctor the other day. In my gut I don't think he will make it to April, but he has surprised us so many times he will probably prove me wrong. :) He was pretty calm telling me this while I visited him last night. I already knew so I was able not to become a blubbering mess. I mean we are all going to die, it is just a fact of life, but now all of a sudden I feel like there is this gigantic clock ticking away over our heads. He is ready even though he is scared. He wants to be with my mom and to feel better. I am spending as much time as I can with him without neglecting my family, although I can't say the same for my house. The house is the least of my worries right now and if anyone has an issue they can kiss my ass. No one can ever understand what I am dealing with unless they too have dealt with it and even then we all have different circumstances.
I am so thankful for my in laws who have been able to care for the kids at a moment's notice even though they are dealing with an ailing family member. I am thankful for my "computer" friends who have been an continuous source of support, for my real life friends who always ask if I am ok, how he is, or just being the person on the other end of the phone I can vent to. I am thankful for my amazing husband who held me up when I was losing my mom and is doing the same while I deal with this. He understands when sometimes I just don't want to talk because I am all talked out. Also for my family who help as much as they can. You really find out who your true friends are when you deal with something like this.
Today would have been my parent's 48th anniversary. They only have one picture of their wedding, thankfully it turned out good. ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment