1/04/2014

Neighbors, are they in the past?

Growing up I knew almost everyone on our block. The people to the right was a couple with a young daughter I used to tutor. The first family to my left was a couple with two boys who I grew up with and thought for sure I would marry, when they moved another couple moved in with a girl my age and we've been friends since though we have had our ups and downs. Then there were the other families the one who was best friends with my mom, the one who cut my hair, the people whose kids weren't the best behaved, the older couple who my mom cared for in their final years. There was the family of all boys whose cousin moved in and became one of my best friends. The neighbors would shovel each others sidewalks and driveways, mow lawns, or just sit on the porches and chat. The older couples whose children were grown, would watch out for the children on the block while they walked to and waited for the bus. The one house with the boys I remember spending as much time there before they moved as I did my own home. The mom became a second mom to me and to this day I still look to her as that. She was so supportive during the hard times with my own parents. I knew if I called she would help anyway she could. Then there were the families who moved away, but the friendships still stuck.

After I took my kids sledding today, I decided to shovel our sidewalk. We share it with an elderly couple, so I made sure to clear their path as well. I then went to clear out the slush around my van to discover the neighbor's was just a messy. So I continued on until I  made sure my close neighbors had clear walkways.  I didn't do this for gratitude, just because it is something I would like to be done for me. As I did that I realize that I don't really know my neighbors. There is the elderly couple who I always say hi to, the single mom on the other side who we say hi or discuss the weather, and now a young couple with a little girl who we barely get a wave out of. Then there is a single lady across the way who I have chatted with more than once and who is very nice to my kids. In a way I was sadden that I really don't know these people, then I  realize that this is just the way it is in many neighborhoods. We erect privacy fences so there no longer is talking to your neighbor through the fence. We tell our children not to talk to strangers and almost make them fear meeting new people. We see others problems as their own and don't think of trying to help.

Where our condo is situated, we are super secluded so I don't know how the rest of our neighborhood works. I do know that a lot of the time my neighbors annoy me and I don't want to take the time to get to know them. It may be the way they park, or the fact that they love cooking sauerkraut and the smell comes into our place, or the fact that I can hear their tv through my bedroom walls. I often want to just live in our bubble being secluded. However there are those times I wish I could call a neighbor to borrow butter or to ask if they can keep an eye out for a package that may be delivered. I don't though, instead I drag everyone to the store for that ingredient or pray the arriving package is still there when I get home. So this year I am going to try and be a better neighbor. Instead of avoiding eye contact or a quick hello, I am going to take time to smile, say hi and maybe ask how their day was. If I see snow needs to be shoveled instead of viewing as not my problem, I am going to shovel it. I'll bring in their garbage cans on garbage day when I bring up my own. Even if no one ever does these things for us, I don't care. Maybe if we all start being better neighbors to each other the world will start to change. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but not if everyone is isolated in their own homes afraid of helping their fellow man.

No comments: