9/26/2013

I am not one of "those" moms.

The one who get up at the ass crack of dawn to make their little angels a huge breakfast before they head of to school. The one who at drop off look as if they had just hit the beauty salon because their hair and make up is near perfect. The mom who packs their kids nothing but healthy food in their lunch bags. The mom who spends her days working out and cleaning her already immaculate house. The one who picks her kid up from school in her perfectly detailed car. The one who has every hour scheduled to do something,  the one whose kid does their chores without a complaint . The one who always seems to be put together and never complains.  The one who never yells at her child but just barely has to raise her voice to be heard.

The truth is that I am just me. I view it as an accomplishment if I get up five minutes before my kids in the morning. They get whatever frozen breakfast item or whatever cereal we have, yes even the sugar filled kind.  I am lucky if I run a hair brush through my hair before I drop them off at school. As for makeup, what is that? I might wear it to a wedding. My kids get a sandwich, chips, a cookie and some sort of fruit (sometimes) in their lunch. Yes, I give my kids chips for every lunch. *gasp* Unless of course the child decides to bring a bowl of cereal for lunch. I do try to send them a joke or fun fact in their lunch to read, however I am just happy if less than half of what I send comes home. My day is spent caring for a 4 year old and 2 year old tornadoes. Seriously, they way those two destroy my home is freaking amazing! After I drop the 4 year old off at school, it is nap time for the 2 year old. I guess I should use that time wisely. Sometimes I eat, usually for the first time that day and catch up on my shows I had to DVR from the night before because my kids were having World War III in my living room. I pick up some of the toys, but usually just leave them because I know as soon as my mini tornadoes are together again, shit will just get destroyed anyway. Working out to me is walking the kids the five blocks to their school. Hey, at least I burn some calories. My van looks as if we live in it and if the kids can get in and out without some piece of garbage falling out, I am stoked. Five kids, plus many hours shuttling them back and forth to places does not a clean van make. My windows are filthy and there is now rust around the door. The hours in my house are a free for all because mom is usually trying not to lose her shit. After school, we have a snack and do homework. Homework with #2 regularly involves crying and frustration, he is not fond of it either. Seriously, I had to YouTube how to figure out a freaking 4th grade math problem the other day! My kids bitch if I ask them to put their clothes in the hamper, heaven forbid chores get done without some sort of meltdown. I complain, a lot and I yell.

However, I am one of those moms whose loves her kids even if I don't always like them. I am the one who worries that her nine year old son will never know what it is like to have a true friend. I am the one who worries that her daughter will suffer from the same self esteem issues I still struggle with. I am the one who instead of worrying what my house looks like instead chooses to sit on the couch snuggling my kids and watching Lilo & Stitch for the umpteenth time because I know how fast it goes. I am the mom who looks forward to school starting. I am the mom who worries that I am a bad example for my kids because I never went to college and instead am "just" a mom. I am the mom who apologizes to her kids when I do lose my shit because after all I am human, I am the mom whose children know when I have a bad migraine to play quietly and actually get a long. I am the mom who likes to sing out loud and dance around the house with my kids because they think it is hilarious.  I am the one who instead of sitting out of the pool at a water park am actually in my bathing suit in front of strangers(yikes) hanging out with my kid.

Some of my friends are "those" moms or at least partially one. You know what, I envy them and secretly hate them all at the same time. (Kidding, you know you rock.)  I wish I had my shit together, but for me it just isn't going to happen. Maybe by the time I become a Grandma I will figure out it all.

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