The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

5/31/2011

Oops

Haha the iPod touch apparently does not play well with blogger. I was only able to do my title. So my decision was to go off my anti depressants. I talked it over with my therapist about my reasons and she agreed that it would be a good time to try. So as of today I have been medicine free for 3 days. I did it very gradually. I have been good with the exception of being a raging bitch on and off to my kids and husband. I'm hoping that goes away and not the new me. I am at the moment being having an anxiety attack for a couple of hours now, but I refuse to let it get to me. I have medicine I can take to help with them, but they make me sleepy and unfortunately at this time I can't go to sleep. Oh well, that would be why I am wasting my time on the internet. I have made a couple new projects and will be starting on one tonight. I can not post pictures yet since it is a gift that won't be given until Sunday, then I will show the 3 people everyone who reads the stories about my boring life. LOL

5/09/2011

Silence is not so golden.

It is amazing how quickly the constant screams  hum of children can become something you look forward to. This past week was a little rough, being Mother's Day and all. I had a couple of bouts with insomnia so there was a lot of silence. I was watching tv or on the computer or reading wile I was trying to convince my body it was time to sleep. I learned that I do not particularly enjoy complete silence. There was a time in my life where I loved it, now not so much. You see for me, the silence is a time for me to think about things. Life, Mom, the kids, and not only am I thinking, I start to belittle myself. *sigh* We are our own worse enemy. It is amazing how much we can crucify ourselves, but can try to bring others up.  am slowly trying to turn my thoughts around, but after so many years of doing it, it isn't going to be an instant solution. I just wish I saw myself the way others claim to see me as. Yes I said claim because even I doubt I am as good as they say..