10/04/2009

Bittersweet day.

We had the boys' birthday party today. It was yet another "firsts" in a long line of them. This is the first birthday party we had since my mom passed. It is quite unbelievable that it has been six months already. I got a little weepy this morning because I was remembering this time last year was when her bouts with pneumonia started. She had to come to my boys' party in a wheelchair because she was so sick. I had told her not to worry about coming because I knew she didn't feel well, but she came anyway and now I'm grateful for that. I also remember this time last year having the most horrible dream. I dreamt my mom had passed away and I remember waking up crying. I wanted to call her right then, but didn't since it was the middle of the night. Perhaps it was my subconscious preparing me for what was t come, not that you can prepare for that.

I'm starting to feel very overwhelmed in life right now. It is as if I am in this big deep hole trying to claw my way out and every time I make it up a few feet, I fall back down. I know you are thinking, well what the hell did d you get the dog for?! Actually the dog has helped a bit, at least she doesn't yell at me or give me attitude.

While we are on that subject, what the heck is it with 7 year old girls and their attitude? Holy crap! I never recall having such an attitude at so young of an age. I don't even know how to handle it. All I know is that I do not look forward to puberty and PMS. LOL

The progress on the quilts have been halted a little. I had a migraine for several days. While I could take care of the kids, the household stuff and "hobbies" got pushed tot the side. I am hoping this week I can get my house back in some sort of order so I can finish up the quilts since it is definitely not getting any warmer.

Here is a new picture of Lucy.

1 comment:

Autumn said...

The story of your mom made me tear up. I think about how different life will be for me when my mom passes (hopefully not for years to come, but I cant help but think of it every now and then as I watch my grandparents age.) This past summer we lost my grandfather (on my dads side) to cancer and the first thing I thought was "Thank you Lord that it's not mom's time yet." (Is that bad?) While I cant say I understand how hard that is for you, I can certainly imagine how it must be. I'm sorry for your loss.

7 year olds and attitudes tend to go hand in hand it seems. I have two daughters, Ashlie is 8 (and a half) Jessica will turn 7 on Oct. 28. I think the reason they seem to have such attitudes is they have already developed their personalities at this point the goal now is to establish their place in our homes. They (at least my kids) tend to freak out that I'll forget their place so they are constantly reminding me ("Mom I know you talk a lot, but I just dont, it's not me, it's who I am" ~words from my 8 year old) Not to mention that at this age they remember last year, they remember their gifts/allowance/rules from just a year ago (much better than I do at times) and want to make sure I am entrusting them with more responsibility this year. Though I can not tell you how many times I hear myself saying "If you cant tell me nicely you can go stand in the corner" (Something my mom used to say to me all the time)

Dont stress about what others think about owning the dog. Dogs are great, they dont sass you back, they are always happy you're home, and they love you no matter what mood you're in. When Ashlie is sad (no matter what about) you can find her sitting quietly somewhere telling the dog all about it. Karma (the dog) has such patience with her and just sits there and enjoys the petting she gets and thanks Ashlie with lots of kisses. I think Karma has brought a peace to our world I could not have made on my own.