12/10/2012

The phrase that makes me want to punch people in the face.


In your spare time today can you ______? You can fill that in as you choose, running an errand, making something, or making phone calls. Are you fucking kidding me? If I had spare time to do anything it would be to pee. Because chances are I haven't yet done that today.  People seriously don't understand what a day of a stay at home mom entails. If I am not taking care of kids, checking on my dad, taking care of the house, the animals, laundry, or volunteering at the kids' school I am trying to stay sane. Some days that in itself is a job.   I don't regret being a stay at home mom one bit especially now that I have found a network of women I can talk to. (One  reason why I volunteer at the school so much.) However it blows my mind when people actually think there is spare time to be had. Right now you may be trying to figure out how I can write this, well the kiddies are eating at the moment so I am taking a few moments to avoid the dishes to bitch.  The list of what goes to the back burner can go on and on, but I don't complain because it is what it is. I can't drop the kids off somewhere so I can have a day to myself and since my husband has to work every day so we can have silly things like gas, they are with me all the time. Why not do stuff at night? Because frankly by the time dinner is done I am so drained I don't even want to move my ass off the couch let alone go get my hair cut(it has only been 9 months) or go to the doctor. So I just keep moving forward as Dory says. Christmas , oops Winter Break is coming up so maybe I will schedule a hair cut then.

12/09/2012

He's Baaack...

This is how we first found him.
Elvis our Elf on the Shelf that is. :) He hasn't been too mischievous yet, maybe he is just waiting for us to put up the Christmas decorations.




He must have met up with the Tooth Fairy and got Allison's money.




Hanging in my craft bin.



He was climbing up my cabinet. This f-ing picture will not upload right on here no matter how many times I try. 

A friend posted this on Facebook and it made me giggle.

12/08/2012

There is not much more heartbreaking

than your father crying. It gets me every time he cries and most days I can hold my own tears back, today was not one of those days. He started telling me how he woke up at about 3:30 in morning and knew it was time to get to work, so he got up to put on his uniform but could not find it. After getting angry he sat on his couch for a bit and realized he was in one room. He yelled for my Mom a couple of times then after she didn't answer and his surroundings came into focus better he remembered it all. He remembered that she was gone, that he was no longer living in his home and that he was alone. I don't know many people who could have kept a dry eye after hearing that, Hell I can't even do it as I type. Of course I try to figure out a way to help him remember, but how would I do that? I already made him a photo album that has everyone's pictures with their names. There is a calendar with the month and day on it. Do I make a poster telling him who he is, where he is and that she is gone? I can't do that, his heart would break over and over again.  So I comfort him the best I can and tell him that it will be okay when in my heart I know it won't after all he is getting older and his memory keeps hiccuping on him.  I fear that there will come a day when he doesn't remember me. Getting old is a cruel thing. My dad has lived a hard life and his body is much older than its 69 years. How is it fair that you struggle to live life only to be robbed of your memories, health, and independence at the end?  I don't understand why your  life ends in basically the same way you began it, crawling.