5/04/2010

I've been thinking lately about friendships

and how what you want out of a friendship changes over the years. I remember being my daughter's age (8) and wanting a best friend. I see when she gets hurt by someone who she considers a friend and it takes a lot not to go tell off the little one who hurt her feelings. I encourage to tell her friend that her feelings were hurt by whatever little drama and that she has to stand up for herself. I also refuse to get into the middle of her fights with friends unless it is something serious because chances are by the next week they will be best friends again. I am friends with a couple of her friends' moms and I don't want our kids tiffs get in the way of our friendship. That was something my mom always told me and she was one smart woman.  As a teenager I had a close group of friends in high school and only talk to one or two regularly now.  It is amazing that the people who you thought you would always talk to you rarely see or talk to anymore the ones who thought you had not much in common with turns out to be someone who you talk to more than ever. As an adult I have quite a few friends and a few acquaintances. My friends are great, it doesn't matter if I've known them since childhood, recently met, or even if they live in my computer, they have all been there for me this past year. Whether it was a card, a call, or an email they were there. Even if we don't talk everyday, I know I can turn to them for their support if needed and I guess as an adult that is all I want out of friendship. I have someone who I thought was a friend, but as the years go by I realize that we are not friends. I am merely someone that she calls when she needs something or if her other great friends are too busy with their own lives. That just sucks. I really like this person, but I hate feeling like I'm being used and that I'm at the bottom of the barrel. So why can't I take the advice I give my daughter and tell this person how they treat me sucks and to never call me again? Part is probably because there is always a glimmer of hope that this person will one day call me just to see how I am instead asking for a favor to do for her.  So I just want to say thank you to my real friends.  Thank you for mourning the loss of my mom with me and celebrating the joy of my baby girl. Although I may not say it, you rock and I wouldn't exchange you for anything. Well, maybe a big hunk of chocolate.....