Email a friend just sent me.

This just about sums it up.

Before I was a Mom,  I never tripped over toys  or forgot words to a lullaby.  I didn't worry whether or not  my plants were poisonous.  I never thought about immunizations. Before I was a Mom,  I had never been puked on.  Pooped on.  Chewed on.  Peed on.  I had complete control of my mind  and my thoughts.  I slept all night. Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child  so doctors could do tests.  Or give shots.  I never looked into teary eyes and cried.  I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.  I never sat up late hours at night  watching a baby sleep. Before I was a Mom,  I never held a sleeping baby just because  I didn't want to put her down.  I never felt my heart break into a million pieces  when I couldn't stop the hurt.  I never knew that something so small  could affect my life so much.  I never knew that I could love someone so much.  I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom,  I didn't know the feeling of  having my heart outside my body..  I didn't know how special it could feel  to feed a hungry baby.  I didn't know that bond  between a mother and her child.  I didn't know that something so small  could make me feel so important and happy. Before I was a Mom,  I had never gotten up in the middle of the night  every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.  I had never known the warmth,  the joy,  the love,  the heartache,  the wonderment  or the satisfaction of being a Mom.  I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,  before I was a Mom .

Strong

One of the definitions of this word is not mild or weak. It is a word that many people have used to describe me and what I have gone through the last couple of months. I don't see it. I just do what needs to be done. On the outside I may appear to be strong to people, but on the inside I feel like I'm barely holding on. My mom has been gone from the Earth a month now. The pain has lessened, but she will never be forgotten. I think of her many times a day, but now I can think of her without feeling that sharp pain in my heart. That doesn't mean that I don't miss her, because I do. Just the other day I picked up the phone to call and tell her something before my brain kicked into gear and reminded me I couldn't call her. I still talk to her, I just don't get a response. 

Many of you don't know, but my older son has a lot of behavior issues. He is 5 1/2 and basically runs our house with his moods. He has been seeing a therapist since December, but that isn't working. We are trying to get him into a new doctor but with our insurance that has been tough. We may end up paying out of pocket to see one. Next year he will be going into Special Ed Kindergarten because he has a non specific developmental delay. Just the other day he said the entire alphabet without messing up for the first time. We were all so excited. He gets frustrated easily and tends to throw violent temper tantrums. He isn't a bad kid, he just can't control himself at times. We have tried just about everything under the sun to try and get him to change his behavior, but with no luck. Now we are thinking that there is something wrong in his brain, perhaps a chemical imbalance that is causing it. Life is very stressful, but what can I do? This was the hand I was dealt so I just have to push forward. It is very hard some days to keep hope that someday he will be better, think that he will be the sweet funny kid that we all know and love and his Jekyll side will be gone.  

As a mother I worry that maybe it was something I did to cause this. Maybe I ate something I shouldn't have while pregnant. I did not breastfeed him, could that have been the cause? He was born three weeks early and just eighteen months after my daughter, should there have been a bigger gap? Perhaps my body hadn't fully recovered and lacked certain nutrients. Maybe I should have read to him more, rocked him more, played with him more, perhaps cooked my own baby food. The what ifs will slowly drive me crazy if I let them. I try not to think about them, but every once and a while they creep up and a little voice whispers that they way he is is my fault. 

Little Lauren is growing in leaps and bounds. Last week I had to take her into the doctor and she was already up to 8 lbs 4 oz. I guess that means the girls are working right. LOL Poor baby has a hemangioma in the crack of her behind and it sometimes bleeds. It doesn't seem to cause her any pain, which is a relief. I have to take her into a plastic surgeon to see if anything needs to be done with it. 

My due date was two days ago

and I was able to fit into a pair of my pre-baby jeans. Grant it, they were only one pair, another pair I had tried on were too tight, but still it is exciting. Now before you start stoning me, let me just say it isn't my fault. I did eat while I was pregnant, but I must have inherited my mom's high metabolism. You can ask my husband, I ate double stuff oreos almost every night. Now I just have to remember that I am no longer pregnant and those Oreos probably won't be so forgiving now.

I can't believe Little Lauren is already 13 days old. I want to slow life down, but as we all know that won't happen. I worry that I'm going to blink and she will be in High School. Who gave kids the okay to grow up so quick? I guess that is just more of a reason to savor each and everyday with them. The good and bad days, after all even bad days can always be worse.  Lauren had her first bath and didn't really like it. The only screaming was from her. My youngest son was the only one interested in watching her get her bath. Although I think it was because he saw an opportunity to play in water.  The older two were outside playing enjoying the beautiful weather we were blessed with.  

I am finally on the mend physically. I still get the occasional headache, but that could just be due to the fact that life with four kids under the age of 7 can be quite stressful at times. The days they spend all day fighting I wonder what we got ourselves into, but then there are days like this morning where they are all playing some silly game  together and having fun. Those good days make it all worth it. 

What a beautiful morning!

This morning is what Spring is all about. Clear blue skies, sun shining, birds chirping, and it isn't too cold. It is amazing how much a little sunshine can lift one's spirits. My kids were even in a decent mood this morning. They fought a little but, I told them they shouldn't fight in the morning before school because it just puts the whole day in a bad mood. It seemed to work, we'll see how tomorrow goes. I am continuous amazed at how one minute they can be playing together nicely and in a second they can't stand each other and fight like enemies. My closest sibling was 5 years older then me so I kind of grew up as an only child. I never really experienced a ton of sibling rivalry. My brother made it clear he hated me when we were younger. LOL! Now though, I know he likes me. ;) I don't blame him when we were younger. Heck, he was the baby for five years and then here I come messing everything up. Not only was I the new baby, but I was the only girl in my family! Poor guy. My husband has an identical twin and practically had the ideal childhood so not too much rivalry there either. He also has a brother that is five years older.  So we are learning everyday how to deal with the continual fighting amongst our brood. With patience and perseverance however we will get through this phase in our life. After all if you think about it, life is just made up of many phases, some good, some absolutely terrible. It is just a matter of how you handle them. To quote the late Walt Disney; "We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." 

I almost forgot, Lauren lost her umbilical cord yesterday. We were at my mother in law's celebrating her birthday. I went to change her diaper and the nasty little shriveled up thing popped out. Gross. My husband asked what I wanted to do with it I told him to toss it. I have never kept my other kids' stumps. Seriously what would one do with it? Perhaps I should have saved it for her wedding day. I could have presented it to her in a beautiful velvet box. Perhaps with a nice card saying that this is the black, dead, shriveled cord to which I gave you life, I want you to have to always remember me? Yikes. I'm sure she would immediately toss it in the trash. I guess I could have planted it, but then what if some nasty outside animal dug it up and ate it? Hmm, now that I think of it I guess it will just decompose in some landfill until a rat or bird comes by to eat it. Oh well, that is the circle of life. So anyway I am very excited that I get to give her the first real bath tonight. I'm sure it will be very exciting. After all the three other kids will want to crowd around the tiny infant tub, I'm sure there will be pushing, shoving, and screaming (maybe from me, maybe from the Princess who I'm sure will not like the bath.) however I will get it documented on film, because how can you not? 

Let the fun begin.

As I stated in my previous post, I should have known I was in for some problems with the epidural. Tuesday morning I woke up (not that I really slept) to pain in my shoulders that went down my arms and in my head. Yes, I was the lucky recipient of a spinal headache. It was manageable with laying down and pain medication. I had the option of a procedure called a blood patch, but the doctors felt that as long as I could bear it with the pain meds to put off doing the patch. I wasn't too eager for them to stick a needle in my back anytime soon either. My husband arrived with our older kiddies and my mother in law later that morning to meet the newest member of our family. My daughter is over joyed with her sister, my oldest son loves her, but only for short periods of time he has also nicknamed her the Princess with stinky farts and my youngest son calls her his baby sista Wawwen. He giggles at everything she does and never wants to give her back to us. A family friend came and brought me flowers and visited with me for a bit that afternoon. Growing up she was like a second mom to me and she was there for me through everything with my mom. It was nice having her there. She didn't know it but my mom was the only one who brought me flowers after I had my kids. One of my sisters in law came that night and visited. Besides the doctors and nurses, those were my only visitors. To say I was hurt would be an understatement. I never had many family members visit when my others kids were born, but this time was different. I lost my mom only 11 days before and I was hoping that my family would realize how painful of a time it was for me. I of course said nothing because the damage was done, so what would be the point? I'm not holding any grudges my mom's passing showed me that life was too short to linger on silly things no matter how much it might hurt. 

We were able to take our baby girl home on Wednesday evening. Thursday the pain in my head got almost too much to bear. At one point I tried to take a shower only to end up sitting in the shower sobbing my eyes out because the pain was so bad. That evening my husband took me to the ER to have the blood patch done. By the time we arrived at the hospital the pain was so bad I could barely speak. Thankfully the ER tech got me into a room right away even though there were people sitting in the waiting room for quite a while before I had arrived. The doctor came in and called the anesthesiologist. They started a saline IV and gave me a shot of pain medicine that made everything all nice and fuzzy. The anesthesiologist came down, consulted with me and told me all of the risks of getting the blood patch done. I will spare you the gory details, but basically they stick a needle back into my spine, draw 20ccs of blood from my arm and inject it into my spine. Ouch. I told my husband who sometimes gets weak in the knees not to look, but he couldn't help himself. He said it was like watching a train wreck, he tried not to watch, but couldn't stop either. He does to retell the story with every detail for anyone who wants to hear it. So they do the procedure and almost immediately my pain is better. Woohoo! I had to lay flat for an hour then got to go home. When I stood up to leave however, all the pain came back. What a disappointment! Not only did I just waste time getting a procedure done that didn't work, I missed out on four hours of my baby's life and had to pump and dump when I got home because of the pain medication they gave me. Friday I woke up with a headache, but it wasn't as bad, I did however have a ton of lower back and leg pain. That would be a side effect from the patch. I would rather have back pain then my head feeling like it was going to split open. We took Miss Lauren to the doctor where she was given a clean bill of health. She still weighed her birth weight. The hospital never told me how much she weighed when we left so I don't know how much she lost. She has a touch of jaundice, but we did not need to get her blood drawn because her eyes weren't yellow and her poop was already turning color. I am breastfeeding and she has taken to it like a champ. I know most people don't get why I would want to "tie" myself to her, but I did it with my last child and it makes me feel great to know that my baby is growing and thriving because of me. Yes it stinks right now that others can't feed her, but that does not mean they can't hold and snuggle her. (Disclaimer: I formula fed my first two, so I don't think badly of people who can't or don't want to breastfeed.) Friday afternoon I started to feel like I had a UTI brewing. Gee what more fun stuff can I add to my list? I suffer from chronic UTIs so I know my body and the symptoms. I also always get one right after giving birth, but forgot to ask for an antibiotic before I left. My doctor called in a prescription for me even though she was hesitant to do it without a test. When are doctors going to learn that we know our bodies better then they do? So I am on the path to recovery and enjoying my baby girl. Physically I do better everyday, mentally some days are a lot tougher than others. I keep expecting for my mom to call me, but I know that is a call that will never come. My dad has come by to visit and calls to check on me almost everyday. I know life needs to get back to normal, but it is hard when I am still mourning. I thank God for my awesome husband everyday. He has been my rock and I know these last weeks haven't been a picnic for him. I don't know what I would have done without him. 

It's been a while.

A lot of things have gone on. I'm not sure where to start. Let's see... I was completely miserable at the end of my pregnancy. I went to the doctor on March 30th and found that I had gained a couple more pounds. I was still dilated to 2 and 50%. My doctor decided on inducing me April 11th at 9 am. I would be 39 weeks and one day. So the end was near, yet it still seemed so far away. Anyone who has been pregnant knows how slowly the last few weeks drag. On April 2nd, I woke up with extremely bad lower back pain and had been contracting irregularly since the night before. So off to the hospital we went to see if anything was going on. As it turned out, I was contracting, but not good enough for them to keep me after all, I was still only 37 weeks. I turned 38 weeks on the next day. So we came home, I felt stupid and decided it was just a big waste of time for everyone involved. Saturday the 4th I was still contracting irregular, but had felt a continuous wetness down below. I waited for quite a while before calling the doctor then my husband who was at work. Off to the hospital again. No, my bag was not leaking, but I was dilated to 3 and contracting off and on. The doctor however decided to send me home again. Talk about a let down. I tried not to let it bother me, but was extremely disappointed. I had a doctor's appointment Monday. I was hoping she would send me to the hospital this time, but figured I would be going home again, so I didn't get my hopes up too high. Before I left for my appointment, I put on my mother's necklace. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it, I just felt like I needed her with me in some way. I had to wait longer than usual to see the doctor and I was getting a little nervous because as it was I was cutting it close to when I had to get my daughter from school. My mother-in-law had my two boys. I went and weighed in and discovered I had lost 2 pounds, so that made my total weight gain for the pregnancy 9 pounds. Doctor came in measured me, we listened to the baby's heartbeat, then she checked me. I was dilated to 4! Woohoo! She was sending me straight to the hospital because she didn't want me to give birth at home. I was very thankful for that. She also stripped my membranes. I have heard horror stories about how bad it hurts, but I didn't find it that bad. So I called my husband at work and told him that she was sending me to the hospital. He asked what for and I told him to have the baby. LMAO I think after the first two false starts, he was a little leery. I started contracting right after she did her thing, but they weren't too bad. I of course had to drive myself to the hospital because I was only 10 minutes from the hospital and anyone else who could have driven me was at least 20-30 minutes from me. It made no sense not to drive myself especially since I wasn't in any pain. It made for some funny conversations on the way to the hospital. I had to call some people to let them know I was going in and most of the responses were shocked I was driving myself. My husband called my dad who told him to not let me do anything until he got there because he had some shopping to do before he came to the hospital. Just like a man thinking he can tell someone when not to give birth.  My friend picked up my daughter from school and kept her for a few hours. So I get to the hospital at about 2, get checked in, into a very sexy ugly gown and got hooked up to the monitors. I was contracting about every 2-3 minutes, but still they weren't too bad. By the time I was getting hooked up to the monitors, my husband had arrived . My labor started to slow down at around 3:30, so they decided to give me a slow drip of pitocin, better known as the the drug that causes super painful contractions. LOL I also got my epidural about 4. I think it might have been the anaesthesiologist's first day. She stuck me, not once, but twice. All the while I was having some strong contractions, had to sit hunched over with the baby's butt in my rib cage. Not fun. So she started the medicine and immediately I had such a bad headache that I thought the top of my head was going to blow off. I should have guessed then that I was in for quite a time with this.  So I laid down  and the nurse literally put me on my head. She tilted my feet for far up that I thought that I was standing on my head. Thankfully, that did the trick and the pain subsided. The right side of my body was feeling no pain, but the left wasn't that lucky. I must say that it is an odd sensation to be having contractions, but only feel them on one side of your body. So I laid on my left side in an attempt to "level" out the medicine. It helped, but not completely. I was afraid to say anything though because I did not want her sticking me again. So I continued to labor and progress. My father had arrived around 5 or so. We just sat or I should I laid around, watched tv and talked. My doctor came in at 8, checked me, I was at about 5 and she broke my water. I was told that she was going to assist in a c-section, but since I had the epidural I would not feel the need to push. I thought to myself that she was crazy because I have always felt the need to push even with an epidural that worked completely. She was the doctor so I didn't complain they also decided to turn off my pitocin at that time.  At about 8:15, I started feeling pressure so I paged the nurse, she came in and checked me and I was at 7.   I asked my nurse how long c-sections take and she said about 45 minutes and I said good, because I didn't think it would be much longer. By 8:45 I was feeling every contraction and they were getting stronger. I rolled to my side told my husband to page the nurse because the baby's heart alarm went off, I was in a ton of pain and I knew the baby was coming. The nurse followed by another nurse came in. She checked me and I was fully dilated. So here I was ready to push and my doctor was with a different patient! I really didn't care though because of the pain, I just wanted the baby out. So they told me if I had to push, just to push. I vaguely remembering her calling the nursery for another nurse for the baby and paging the doctor. At 9:02 my doctor rushed into the room, I started pushing and my daughter was born at 9:08. Lauren Ida weighed in at 7lbs 1oz and 19 1/2in long. She has quite a bit of brown hair and dark blue eyes. I of course am totally in love. Her middle name was my mom's first name. I had planned that long before my mom got ill. My grandmother was Ida, she named my mom Ida, so it only seemed right that my daughter would carry on that name. I never took my mom's necklace off while I was in the hospital. I know she was there with us even though we couldn't see her. Well, that is it for today. I have some more stories, but need to go feed my daughter. She doesn't understand the whole blog thing. I am putting up the last picture of my belly before it was gone. I took it two days before she was born.

My mom got her wings on March 26th 2009.

I knew when I woke up the morning of the 25th that it would be the day. I felt like something had shifted in the Earth. I can't explain it, I just knew that my mom was gone. I went to her house and saw her and even told my brother that my mom had gone to a better place and her body was just there waiting to let go. I truly felt that. I realize it sounds morbid, but that was just the feeling I got. I was at her house for 9 hours that day and we got no response out of her. It did not matter what we did, her eyes stayed closed. I think we all had a feeling that it was going to happen soon. I stayed until about 10 when my brothers finally urged me to go home and get some rest. I was so torn. Do I stay or go? My brother had said that she was waiting for something. I told him she was waiting for me to go home. So I went and gave her a kiss, told her good-bye and told her it was okay for her to go. I went home, took a shower and got into bed, shortly after midnight, my brother called to tell me she was gone. I was not surprised. I had been in between sleep and consciousness when the phone rang. In my "dream" shortly before the call I told my mom that I could not have this baby until I knew she was at peace and no longer suffering. Was I really talking to my mom? I think I might have been, maybe that was what she was waiting for. I'm sad that she never got to hold this little one, but I know that she will see him/her. We had her waked on Friday and Saturday we put her to rest. That was one of the hardest days of my life. When I went up to say my final good-bye, I kissed her head, told her I loved her and told her to give the baby lots of kisses for me before she sent her down. My mom will always be in my heart, but a piece of me died that day. I wrote a Eulogy that I was able to read at her service although I had to stop several times. I used part of one of my blogs. Here it is.

There are so many great things I can say about my mom. She was not just my mom, but my best friend. She was a selfless woman who loved and cared for her family and friends with all of her heart and soul. She is the wife and mother that I strive to be and even if I am only half as good as she was, I will be satisfied. Of course just like her, after hearing the devastating news that the cancer had spread, she was worried not about herself, but of us. She wanted to make sure we were okay and comforted. She showed no fear of what was to come, yet it had to be there. We know that she is in a better place. A place where she doesn't have to worry about trying to take a deep breath, where she can walk without having to stop to breath. A beautiful place where she was joined by family members and pets that have passed before her. She of course will make that place a little brighter because she has arrived. As much as we will miss her, we know that she will be waiting for us just on the other side when it is our time to join her. Angels walk on the Earth everyday and my mom was one of them. God was just ready for her to come back home to him and we have been blessed that we got her for the time we did.  There are many things I will miss about her, but most of all will be her voice. I spoke to my mother everyday if not a few times a day. Usually our conversations were about nothing important, it was just to hear each other’s voice. The first time she came of the ventilator, I walked into her room and she said “Hi baby.” that was the best sound that I have heard. I found a poem I would like to read for you. It is by By Joanna Fuchs

A Sonnet for My Incomparable Mother

I often contemplate my childhood, Mom.

I am a mother now, and so I know

Hard work is mixed together with the fun;

You learned that when you raised me long ago.

I think of all the things you gave to me:

Sacrifice, devotion, love and tears,

Your heart, your mind, your energy and soul--

All these you spent on me throughout the years.

You loved me with a never-failing love

You gave me strength and sweet security,

And then you did the hardest thing of all:

You let me separate and set me free.

Every day, I try my best to be

A mother like the mom you were to me.

There was an article written about my mom in the Chicago Sun-Times. Here is the link of you would like to read it. http://www.suntimes.com/news/obituaries/1500015,CST-NWS-xeaton28.article

Let the Dilation Begin!

Saw the doctor today, I am dilated to 2,  50% effaced, with baby head down and a soft cervix. If I don't go before 39 weeks, the doctor will induce me. I have a feeling I won't make it that long though. I also did not gain any weight, I will see her next week. 

 It is very bittersweet with everything going on with my mom. I want to have this baby so bad, but I also want to spend as much as I can with her. We brought her home yesterday and got her set up. It was so scary bringing her home knowing that there was no nurse just down the hall if something happened. It is all up to us as a family to take care of her these final days/weeks. She is where she wants to be though, in her own home surrounded by those who love her the most. 

Thank you for all of the prayers, they are truly appreciated! 

Let the fun begin..

The other night I was having regular contractions every ten minutes for about 3-4 hours. I was drinking a ton of fluid and was resting. After speaking with the doctor, I ate something small and took a warm bath. They stopped soon after that. I was relieved and disappointed all at the same time. I'm sick of being pregnant, but on the other hand, I need to prepare. Things in my life have taken a drastic turn for the worse also so technically now is not a good time for this little one to be born. 

We found out yesterday that my mom's cancer has spread to her brain. It is affecting the left side of her body. She has little to no movement in her arm, she can't hear out of that side and her vision is distorted. There is nothing that can be done anymore, but to make sure she is comfortable. We will bring her home hopefully by next Friday to take care of her and help her to live out the last weeks that she has.  I'm just kind of numb and still trying to process right now. I keep feeling like I am going to wake up from this awful nightmare, yet it just continues. I feel so bad for my kids. They will never know the wonderful woman I knew growing up. Life just isn't fair sometimes, but I know that it is not in our hands. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I was shocked and worried to say the least. I now realize that God gave me this precious gift to help me cope with my mom' s failing health and her ultimate death. He knows that to lose her would completely devastate me and possibly make me lose my mind, but with a new little one to care for, to pour all my heart and soul into, it might help numb that pain that I will feel all too soon. I know that is a lot to put on a baby, but I truly believe this was the way God planned it to be. My mom is the woman and mother that I strive to be. If I am half of what she is then I will be happy. Of course just like her, after hearing the devastating news yesterday, she was worried not about herself, but of us. She wants to make sure we are okay and comforted. She shows no fear of what is to come, yet it has to be there. We know that she will go to a better place. A place where she doesn't have to worry about trying to take a deep breath, where she can walk without having to stop to breath. A beautiful place where she will be joined by family members and pets that have passed before her. She of course will make that place a little brighter because she has arrived. As much as we will miss her, we know that she will be waiting for us just on the other side when it is our time to join her. Angels walk on the Earth everyday and my mom is one. God is just ready for her to come back home to him and we have to be blessed that we got her for the time we did. 

Hey there! Did you miss me?

Or should I ask if you even knew I was gone? Things have been well, hectic, although that doesn't really encompass all that has been going on in my life. My mom, my best friend, the person who I speak to on a daily basis has been very ill. She was rushed to the hospital on February 20th and has been there ever since. She has been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and the prognosis is not good. She already had COPD and Emphysema so her lungs were shot to begin with. I have been coping as well as I can. I feel like I am on the never ending roller coaster. Just when things start to look hopeful, she has a set back. She has had to be intubated twice and the doctors are now considering a tracheotomy.  I used to pray to God to save her because I want her around forever. Now though, I just pray to God that he makes the right decision for HER. I don't want to lose her, but I don't want her to be miserable either. She is a tough fighter and not giving up. She obviously has more things to do in this life because she has been on his doorstep a few times and he has sent her back home. She is looking forward to having a new grand baby to cuddle and love. I have a feeling I will be bringing this little one to the hospital to meet his/her grandmother, but at least they will meet.

I have about 4 weeks or less to go and I myself can not believe how fast time has flown by. I guess a lot of that has to do with the fact that my mom has been in and out of the hospital since September so I haven't really had a ton of time to think about it. I was just thinking the other day that I started my pregnancy years with a parent with cancer (my father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer when I was pregnant with my first) and now I will end my pregnancy years with a parent with cancer. They say God doesn't give you what you can't handle. Well, apparently he has a lot more confidence in me than I do. Besides the stress with my mom, my son has behavior issues and we are dealing with that. We also are no way close to being ready for this baby. Thanks to some wonderful friends, we have some already prepared meals. I did one load of baby clothes and have packed my hospital bag. Outside of that, things are at a stand still. I am just worn out physically and mentally and just don't have it in me to do much more than what is necessary. 

I saw my doctor this week and she put me on Zoloft for depression. She gave me a screening for depression and I apparently scored a little high. In the past I have been against meds for depression, bu t I realize that this time around  I need a little bit more help. To date I have gained ten pounds. We'll see how much more I gain by the end. I see the doctor again next week and every week until I deliver. I hope my little bundle of joy will show her/his mommy some mercy and come just a little bit early. I am already waddling and forget getting out of bed in the morning, that is a feat in itself. LOL I'll include the latest belly picture and some baby info. 

 Man do I look huge! It isn't me, it is the computer camera and my husband's sweatshirt making me look like that. 

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement. At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.