Life is amazing.

I never knew what a amazing amount of life changes I would go through when I first started this blog. I thought it was just going to be about my surprising pregnancy and maybe a little bit of kid antics thrown in. I could never imagine losing my Mom friend nor that I have a brain Lesion. I have recently found out some more information about my migraines that left me speechless and absolutely terrified. I am not quite ready to talk about it yet, but will in time.  Life apparently just really likes to throw me a curve ball. They say you make plans and God laughs. Well, he must be laughing his butt off today.

Multitasking

I am quite obsessed with it. :) I always knew I was pretty good at it, but I know realize how much it consumes my life. I rarely just sit and watch TV. I like to be doing something else, like now for instance I am writing this while the new episode of Being Human is on. When I am eating lunch I read. When I am sitting in the pick up line waiting for the kids, I read, write on the backs of pictures, or clean attempt to clean my van. Even when I was nursing, I was flipping thru the TV channels or doing something. It was rare for me to just sit and nurse. I regret that now. I can never get the time back and I wish I would have just been okay with just being still. Perhaps I have a touch of ADD.  Heck, even in my sleep I am dreaming of what needs to be done.  My mind is constantly going on to the next thing to the point that I become forgetful about what I am doing. I was making cookies one day, turned around for a split second and completely forgot about how much flour I had put in. I don't really like making New Year's Resolutions, but this year I think I am just going to try and stop to smell the roses a little more. 

Let the dinner battle begin!

Okay, so I will admit I haven't been the best at making my kids eat their dinner. I didn't feel that it was worth fighting with them over eating a potato when they could just make themselves a peanut butter sandwich. I worry about setting too strict of limits about food on them at dinner. I had to eat everything on my plate or was made to sit at the table long after it was cleared and everyone went about their business. I was told to eat everything or I would be having it the next day for breakfast. Thanks to my mom, after my dad (the enforcer of said rule) would go to bed, she would toss out my meal. So I always teetered on the edge of how strict to be. Well guess what, the happy peanut butter days are over. LOL From now on they have to try everything I make or they get no dessert. I am not saying they have to eat and entire mound of beans, just a bite. Sounds simple, right? Hell no! Not when you have a four year old who only eats meat and potatoes. Every night since this new rule has been put into place our meals have been less than quiet or peaceful. Alex usually spends a good 15 minutes to 1/2 hour crying and whining about dinner while the other 2 either just suck it up and try it or don't and just accept they will not get dessert that night. I realize what a poor injustice we were doing to our children by not making them try something new. I keep telling them that you have to try something at least 10 times before you decide you don't like it. (I'm pretty sure I read that in a magazine somewhere along the road. ) So until they realize we are serious and will not be backing down, I don't foresee our dinners to be peaceful. It isn't as if I am feeding them crap on a stick either, I am a pretty good cook. I enjoy cooking, but it gets tiring when all you face is complaints day in and day out about what you have cooked. They can't understand why I don't want to feed them box mac & cheese, hot dogs, frozen nuggets, and chips everyday. Believe me I am in no way knocking these convenience foods, they get them, I just choose for my kids not to eat that every night if I can help it.  They will get it eventually and perhaps when are my age complaining to the world about how their Mother made them eat a green bean or maybe trying to get their kids to eat better.  ☺

It has been, well a while.

The month of December just seems so hectic, yet flies by so fast. Let see, I turned 31 *gasp* I am officially in my 30s!  *thud* Excuse me, I just passed out a bit. LOL Seriously though, I don't care what my age. It doesn't bother me yet to tell people my age. So no, I am not 29 again, I turned 31. My Birthday this year was awesome all around and honestly one of my best birthdays ever! My awesome husband took me the night before my birthday out to eat at this fabulous restaurant by us and then to see Wicked the musical. I had seen it before and was dying to see it again, but couldn't justify spending that much money on myself. Thankfully, he thinks I'm worth it. The play was amazing and so was dinner. The next day, it was my kids' winter concert at school and their winter parties. The show was good, and Nick even participated even though he said he wouldn't.  Seeing him stand up in front of a gym full of people and singing When Christmas Comes to Town  from the Polar Express just melted my heart. Any other time there were sing-alongs at school in front of people, he would freak out and not participate. ♥ Allison's grade sang Believe from the Polar Express. I am not shy to say it made me a little misty eyed to watch them. They are growing up so fast. I swear it was just yesterday the we brought them on our local Polar Express to visit the "North Pole", when in fact it was 3 years ago.  The rest of the day went well and the kids had very minimal fighting. Yippee! 


Christmas was great and as usual went by in a whirl wind. Elvis the Elf did seem to do his job and hopefully will do an even better one next year. Unfortunately, the little booger kept forgetting to leave at night and would often be in the same spot for 2 days. I think he may be related to the tooth fairy who on occasion will forget to stop by.  ☺ We had out share of ups and downs, the past weeks with the kids out of school, but what family doesn't? The night before Christmas Eve we had to take Alexander to the ER to get 3 stitches put in his right hand at the base of this thumb. The events of what occurred upstairs in the boys room is still unclear, but I know it involved Nick wiping off a dry erase board on Alex's butt(yes you read that right) and Alex's finger getting cut on the board. I had not known the plastic was broken off the edge leaving the sharp metal exposed or it would have been tossed long ago. Alex did insist that it was an accident and Nick felt so bad that he did not go to sleep until well after Midnight when we got home from the ER. His hand has since healed well and the incident just a tiny blob in the back of our memory. Now Alex has something to hold over his big brother's head for the rest of their lives.  Christmas Eve was spent with my in-laws where the kids were spoiled ridiculously. Christmas morning the kids were spoiled just as much. Christmas dinner was spent with my family this year at my brother's and it was great. The kids had a blast and although we all missed my mom, it wasn't a big empty hole like it would have been if it was at her house. The rest of the winter break went by quickly with taking down decorations, hanging out with the kids and trying to find spots for all the new toys and clothes. I actually kind of missed seeing my kids go back to school. They have really been getting along well and it was so nice to see them playing together. 


New Year's Eve was spent at home. We had an early countdown with the kids and they were all in bed by 7:30. They were bouncing off the walls.  We went to bed and I dosed off only to wake up shortly after midnight to say Happy New Year and went right back to sleep. LOL New Year's day was a party with my extended in-law family and finding out some exciting news. My sister-in-law, Andrew's twin's wife is pregnant and due at the end of July. I am so excited, I can get my baby fix. I am really happy for them and was lucky enough to go to the first ultrasound. I got to see my new little niece or nephew (I think it is a girl) wiggle around and when I saw that little heart beating I seriously teared up. The creation of life is just truly amazing, to think something so small, the size of strawberry already has arms, legs and a heart beating. 


So that is my year end in review. Hopefully I will get back to the swing of blogging now that I don't have little ones reading over my shoulder.  I pray this year is an awesome one with great things to come. Here are some pictures I thought I would share. 

Alexander's thumb. He got to pick out the color. 

Elvis's last spot to hang out. 

Gifts, gifts, and more gifts. 

It only took 2 years

but I finally passed the 100 post mark! What a two years it has been.  I have gone through some big upheavals in life, yet I am still standing, although not that straight. LOL My mom has been on my mind a lot the past week, Christmas was her favorite time of year.  I remember as a child coming downstairs and there wasn't even floor space because of the piles of gifts.  Our house was always decorated top to bottom and the decorations stayed up until well after the New Year.  She loved watching us Christmas morning opening that perfect gift,  I think she got more out of that than anything else. I know now as a mom how she felt. I love watching the surprise and excitement on my kids' faces as they open their gifts.  You can see just one example of the gift mountain in the picture. Yes on the TV is playing the Yule Log program. My dad loved it and he now has a DVD of that Yule Log. This year Christmas will be different, we will get together at my oldest brother's home to celebrate.  I know change is hard, but I think this is a good thing. Being out of our family home for this holiday I believe will make it easier, at least for me. Last year I had a hard time trying to keep a smile on my face and keep it together, being in the house without her just intensifies the feeling of sadness and grief. My mom will be there celebrating with us whether we are in her house or not. After all, she would never miss a Christmas celebration with us.

 I don't need a Angel on my Christmas tree....I already have one in Heaven looking down on me.

Changing my way of thinking

or at least trying my hardest. As the saying goes, you are your toughest critic and believe me, no one is harder on me than myself. I am trying to change this and man is it hard! You would think it was simple, but it isn't especially if you have been telling yourself for 20 or so years that you aren't good enough. The list goes on. I never felt I was pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough and was always striving for more only to end up back at the place I was feeling even more dejected. Instead of saying "Look at me World, this is who I am and I am pretty awesome" I hide in the shadows almost too afraid to even talk to new people. Thanks to the help of some new friends and my therapist I am trying to see myself as they see me. Apparently what I do in my daily life is pretty great according to some, but I just see it as what I need to do. Yes I am forever running here and there, but there aren't many who don't. Yes, I educate myself the best possible way and seek to get all the help for Nick with his ADHD and Lauren with her speech delay. But I don't find any of those extraordinary, as a parent we are the only ones who can fight for our children's rights and you can bet your ass I will be there front and center. I have lost my mom, my best friend and somehow did not allow the grief to crush me. I have children after all that depend on me even when I don't think I am good enough for them. I love my children to death, but some days I am so frazzled I think what the heck is going here? When did I grow up and become a mom to 4!! Those days are always the worse. I get so down on myself for not doing enough with the kids, not playing enough with them and worrying are they growing up right? Are they going to be the kind of adult that I envision or will they become couch potatoes destined to live with me forever? (Please no!) When I am my wits end with them and want to run away I think of a friend. She has a beautiful son and a great husband. Although she wanted more children, at this point they have not been blessed yet with another biological child of their own. Does she wallow day in and day out with self pity? Nope, she pulls up her big girl panties and throws herself into her son's life. If that wasn't enough, this selfless couple are now foster parents and taking in children to love and care for because their parents can't at the moment.  Going from one child to multiple children virtually overnight would possibly make me a little loony, but she just seems to put on a smile and continues ahead. You know what? I look up to her and when I grow up I want to be like her. Perhaps my lack of faith is the problem. faith in myself and in God. After all we are all just part of a bigger picture right? I always believed that everything happens for a reason. So instead of saying why me while Nick is in a full out tantrum, I try to think why not  me? Perhaps I was specially picked to be his mom.  No one promised that this road called life would be a smooth straight line. What is the fun in that? The pot holes in that road makes it that much more interesting. Please forgive me if I am babbling, it is 3am and I have not had any sleep tonight.

Now what you have been waiting for, Elvis. he decided to hang out on the computer the other day.

Elvis is getting creative.

I know,  I have missed a couple of days but it has been one of those weeks.



He really enjoys the decorations.

Hanging out by the canisters.

This morning he decided to hang on the kitchen fan. 

He's hanging out in the kitchen today

Elvis decided that he wanted to sit in the phone holder we have in the kitchen. Unfortunately the magic of Elvis has not helped my kids with their behavior. I think he may be bringing a note from Santa tomorrow morning.


Nick goes to see his doctor tomorrow and I think he will be upping his medicine dose. After speaking with his teachers and observing him at home, I have come to the conclusion that his medicine is no longer lasting the 10 hours that it used to. I hope that this will be the trick to his behavior after school if nothing else.



I had to get an MRI yesterday of my brain. I had one back in June and they found I had a lesion, but the doctor was not concerned. He wanted a repeat this month to see if it has grown or if there were more. Of course the radiologist couldn't tell me anything which is so frustrating. So now I have to wait and twiddle my thumbs to find out the results. The MRI place did give me a disk with a copy of the scans and I being the curious sort had to check them out. Of course I have no clue what I am looking for, but I found it neat to be looking at my brain. I discovered one picture that was a view from the back of my head. It shows a sad face. LOL While is it creepy, it is also pretty neat.  Maybe this is the cause of my depression, my brain is sad. I wonder how one goes about making the brain happy again?

He really seems to like the decorations

Elvis showed up this morning on another decoration. this time he was a little bit daring and chose one hanging off of the curtain rod. I sure hope he has a good grip!

















Don't worry, I am still doing the together forever Tuesdays. Today's card is Show up! I think this is a really good one.

Poor kid

I may have scarred Alexander for life. He had a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep last night and I think it was because Elvis was in his room watching him.  This morning though, Elvis relocated to downstairs on a Christmas decoration. Hopefully he gave Santa a good report for yesterday. Nick's mood was not the greatest this morning, but maybe he will be better when he gets home. Ha! Who am I kidding? Anyway, here is Mr. Elvis trying to blend into the scenery.