1/31/2011

So here it is..

I went into my neurologist on Friday to make sure my lesion was good and hadn't grown any family members. ;~) What I learned there really scared the shit out of me. Seriously, I saw my life pass before my eyes. I have been diagnosed with Arnold-Chiari Malformation. More information about it here.  http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/chiari.htm  Thank God for my friend Amanda who had mentioned it to me a few weeks back so I had already done some research on it. I have Type 1 and was told it was mild. My doctor was kind of nonchalant as he explained it to me. He said it was mild and wanted me to see a Neurosurgeon, but did not think I needed surgery. After all, it is not minor surgery they take (and here was when he used his hand for demonstration) a small part of the back of your skull off. You can imagine right there that my mind went completely blank and void of rational thought. I was able to maintain composure even chatting with a friend who works there, until I got in my car. I think I gave Andrew who was at work a heart attack when I told him in a blubbering way that my brain was slipping into my spinal column and I might need surgery to fix it.

Now can you see why I was terrified? All I kept thinking about were my kids. I have 4 kids who depend on me, there is no way I can have surgery. I mean, what if I die? Isn't it enough they have to deal with a mom who has constant headaches and losing their Grandmother not even 2 years ago? Now they are going to lose their mom. What about Andrew? How is he going to handle it?

So I had a pity fest for a bit, then got over it. I am still scared, but I not going to let this define who I am. It is just another thing that makes me, well me. I am grateful to finally have a diagnosis. Now I have an actual legitimate reason for these damn daily headaches and migraines. After doing research, I have discovered I have a lot of the other symptoms that I had never mentioned to a doctor because I just shrugged them off as no big deal.

As for surgery, I will leave that up to the surgeon. I see him in March and hopeful he can give me some more insight. Right now I am against it, but if it means surgery or paralysis, you can bet I will pick surgery. I will keep you updated. Thank you to those who have stuck by me. :) Oh and another thing, I have decided not to tell my dad about this until I have more information on it. He does not need to add this to the list of things to worry about.

1/28/2011

Life is amazing.

I never knew what a amazing amount of life changes I would go through when I first started this blog. I thought it was just going to be about my surprising pregnancy and maybe a little bit of kid antics thrown in. I could never imagine losing my Mom friend nor that I have a brain Lesion. I have recently found out some more information about my migraines that left me speechless and absolutely terrified. I am not quite ready to talk about it yet, but will in time.  Life apparently just really likes to throw me a curve ball. They say you make plans and God laughs. Well, he must be laughing his butt off today.

1/26/2011

Multitasking

I am quite obsessed with it. :) I always knew I was pretty good at it, but I know realize how much it consumes my life. I rarely just sit and watch TV. I like to be doing something else, like now for instance I am writing this while the new episode of Being Human is on. When I am eating lunch I read. When I am sitting in the pick up line waiting for the kids, I read, write on the backs of pictures, or clean attempt to clean my van. Even when I was nursing, I was flipping thru the TV channels or doing something. It was rare for me to just sit and nurse. I regret that now. I can never get the time back and I wish I would have just been okay with just being still. Perhaps I have a touch of ADD.  Heck, even in my sleep I am dreaming of what needs to be done.  My mind is constantly going on to the next thing to the point that I become forgetful about what I am doing. I was making cookies one day, turned around for a split second and completely forgot about how much flour I had put in. I don't really like making New Year's Resolutions, but this year I think I am just going to try and stop to smell the roses a little more. 

1/12/2011

Let the dinner battle begin!

Okay, so I will admit I haven't been the best at making my kids eat their dinner. I didn't feel that it was worth fighting with them over eating a potato when they could just make themselves a peanut butter sandwich. I worry about setting too strict of limits about food on them at dinner. I had to eat everything on my plate or was made to sit at the table long after it was cleared and everyone went about their business. I was told to eat everything or I would be having it the next day for breakfast. Thanks to my mom, after my dad (the enforcer of said rule) would go to bed, she would toss out my meal. So I always teetered on the edge of how strict to be. Well guess what, the happy peanut butter days are over. LOL From now on they have to try everything I make or they get no dessert. I am not saying they have to eat and entire mound of beans, just a bite. Sounds simple, right? Hell no! Not when you have a four year old who only eats meat and potatoes. Every night since this new rule has been put into place our meals have been less than quiet or peaceful. Alex usually spends a good 15 minutes to 1/2 hour crying and whining about dinner while the other 2 either just suck it up and try it or don't and just accept they will not get dessert that night. I realize what a poor injustice we were doing to our children by not making them try something new. I keep telling them that you have to try something at least 10 times before you decide you don't like it. (I'm pretty sure I read that in a magazine somewhere along the road. ) So until they realize we are serious and will not be backing down, I don't foresee our dinners to be peaceful. It isn't as if I am feeding them crap on a stick either, I am a pretty good cook. I enjoy cooking, but it gets tiring when all you face is complaints day in and day out about what you have cooked. They can't understand why I don't want to feed them box mac & cheese, hot dogs, frozen nuggets, and chips everyday. Believe me I am in no way knocking these convenience foods, they get them, I just choose for my kids not to eat that every night if I can help it.  They will get it eventually and perhaps when are my age complaining to the world about how their Mother made them eat a green bean or maybe trying to get their kids to eat better.  ☺

1/08/2011

It has been, well a while.

The month of December just seems so hectic, yet flies by so fast. Let see, I turned 31 *gasp* I am officially in my 30s!  *thud* Excuse me, I just passed out a bit. LOL Seriously though, I don't care what my age. It doesn't bother me yet to tell people my age. So no, I am not 29 again, I turned 31. My Birthday this year was awesome all around and honestly one of my best birthdays ever! My awesome husband took me the night before my birthday out to eat at this fabulous restaurant by us and then to see Wicked the musical. I had seen it before and was dying to see it again, but couldn't justify spending that much money on myself. Thankfully, he thinks I'm worth it. The play was amazing and so was dinner. The next day, it was my kids' winter concert at school and their winter parties. The show was good, and Nick even participated even though he said he wouldn't.  Seeing him stand up in front of a gym full of people and singing When Christmas Comes to Town  from the Polar Express just melted my heart. Any other time there were sing-alongs at school in front of people, he would freak out and not participate. ♥ Allison's grade sang Believe from the Polar Express. I am not shy to say it made me a little misty eyed to watch them. They are growing up so fast. I swear it was just yesterday the we brought them on our local Polar Express to visit the "North Pole", when in fact it was 3 years ago.  The rest of the day went well and the kids had very minimal fighting. Yippee! 


Christmas was great and as usual went by in a whirl wind. Elvis the Elf did seem to do his job and hopefully will do an even better one next year. Unfortunately, the little booger kept forgetting to leave at night and would often be in the same spot for 2 days. I think he may be related to the tooth fairy who on occasion will forget to stop by.  ☺ We had out share of ups and downs, the past weeks with the kids out of school, but what family doesn't? The night before Christmas Eve we had to take Alexander to the ER to get 3 stitches put in his right hand at the base of this thumb. The events of what occurred upstairs in the boys room is still unclear, but I know it involved Nick wiping off a dry erase board on Alex's butt(yes you read that right) and Alex's finger getting cut on the board. I had not known the plastic was broken off the edge leaving the sharp metal exposed or it would have been tossed long ago. Alex did insist that it was an accident and Nick felt so bad that he did not go to sleep until well after Midnight when we got home from the ER. His hand has since healed well and the incident just a tiny blob in the back of our memory. Now Alex has something to hold over his big brother's head for the rest of their lives.  Christmas Eve was spent with my in-laws where the kids were spoiled ridiculously. Christmas morning the kids were spoiled just as much. Christmas dinner was spent with my family this year at my brother's and it was great. The kids had a blast and although we all missed my mom, it wasn't a big empty hole like it would have been if it was at her house. The rest of the winter break went by quickly with taking down decorations, hanging out with the kids and trying to find spots for all the new toys and clothes. I actually kind of missed seeing my kids go back to school. They have really been getting along well and it was so nice to see them playing together. 


New Year's Eve was spent at home. We had an early countdown with the kids and they were all in bed by 7:30. They were bouncing off the walls.  We went to bed and I dosed off only to wake up shortly after midnight to say Happy New Year and went right back to sleep. LOL New Year's day was a party with my extended in-law family and finding out some exciting news. My sister-in-law, Andrew's twin's wife is pregnant and due at the end of July. I am so excited, I can get my baby fix. I am really happy for them and was lucky enough to go to the first ultrasound. I got to see my new little niece or nephew (I think it is a girl) wiggle around and when I saw that little heart beating I seriously teared up. The creation of life is just truly amazing, to think something so small, the size of strawberry already has arms, legs and a heart beating. 


So that is my year end in review. Hopefully I will get back to the swing of blogging now that I don't have little ones reading over my shoulder.  I pray this year is an awesome one with great things to come. Here are some pictures I thought I would share. 


Alexander's thumb. He got to pick out the color. 

Elvis's last spot to hang out. 

Gifts, gifts, and more gifts.